watashi wa Irihamu des..heh

hah!...clases has begun!!..and what better way to start the first week than writing my blogger...haven't written anything in a while...to busy with classes and everything else...taking 18 credits this semester which is the limit for my university and my current CGPA ( 3.1...if i had gotten 3.2..could get into another class...damn!!...heh)...it had been a hectic week i can tell you that...fortunately this semester there is a class that i truly liked ( not like previous semesters where i hated all of them..)...that class is JAPN 101...yes people..i'm finally taking japanese..yayy for me!!..wanted to take this language course since i was a kid...it all started when i watched the Kamen rider series back in malaysia ( it was translated into Malay then..)...i asked my brother why kamen rider's mouth was not coherent( big word!!!) with his voice..he said it was originally in japanese....so as time flows by( and a hundred episodes of ultraman, cybercops and other late 80's japanese hero movies..)...i wanted to understand the language that these guys talking in...when i first heard the language(when my uncle came back from Japan finishing his studies) i liked it..it had rythm and i started collecting japanese anime, comics ( in malay of course because i don't understand japanese then)...well..now here i am, pursuing my dream..hehe...ganbate ne!..

aisey...kalah lagi...menang?!!...arggghhh!!

hmm...man utd lost yesterday...but all is not lost...wait until the full squad comes back...then we'll see who is losing..arsenal won...damn....%#$@ it...well...what can i say...what can i say...3 more days..i hate going back to cleveland now...i just think i'm still not ready for the new semester...haiii..target 4.00!!!!

Today is Saturday...

yes boys and girls...today is saturday..and the start of another season of EPL football...soccer to all you American fans out there...and today is also the start of another season of EPL Yahoo! fantasy football ( which i delibrately quit midseason..)...my hope for this season is that Manchester Utd will win the Treble again...i know it is a far-fetch dream but hey, it's not wrong to hope now is it?...well, wish you luck Man Utd...hope you'll win the Treble again...yeah!!

9 days left

this is it..9 days left until i board a plane back to cleveland....heh...heard so many stories from the guys that stayed in cleveland and from those stories, i think i'm a little bit afraid to go back..yeah..me...afraid...a word i seldom use actually...well...the atmosphere in cleveland is changing...i'm changing...and i'm just afraid if i can't cope with it..my gut tells me i can cope with the 'changes' in cleveland but my heart says i can't...just have to find out for myself now...but it's partially my fault actually..i'm not gonna lay down all the facts here...let's just say i was too stupid to understand myself..i'm really getting wayyyy to far from my topic here...

oh yeah...just came back from taiping a couple of days ago...wanted to attend a wedding but my senior and i were a wee bit late...when we got there they were already finished cleaning up...wish i had my perdana back then...then i could wizz through the highway at 160 km/h and would be in taiping in a flash...but my mom would let me drive unless i have at least 3 frens with me...yeah2..i'm a momma's boy, so what?...her advices are the things that got me in cleveland...so i just obey them that's all..it's for my own good...well...if she saids so...it was her advices that restrained me from.....nah...don't want to talk about it...bad thing to do..i always say..dwelling on the past...i have to move on..nad it's hard..

all was not lost in my trip to taiping...got to meet badut...hanging out with badut, amet and jet was really...i don't have the word to describe it right now...just hold on to that thought...but i really felt guilty for blurting out something that annoys jet...sorry...i'm really, terribly sorry...at that precise moment i was acting like an idiotic fool blurting out stupid things...i don't know how to make it up to her....well....time will heal it...but...i really felt guilty...even dreamt about it too...i'm feeling it right now...oh well..

i think that's it for today...jeez...9 days left...it has been 2 months...still can't forget...still can't..

i hate this...

i hate this...three words that are suitable to describe how i am feeling right now...i thought it was over...i thought i should just forget it and get it out of my head...but when i'm ready to let go..it comes back to haunt me...telling me that i still have a chance to score...but i know deep inside i just want to forget it and let it all behind in the past...but somehow..i can't...it just catches up with me all the time...i hate this...i really do...when i had given up all hope...suddenly a ray of light pierced through the darkness and when i feel certain that i have been given another chance...the light just vanishes and i'm left alone in the dark...it happens all the time...to anyone who understands this....good for you...

~i hate false hope...how about you?~

Kenapa?

what is this?..why does it always happen to me?...why doesn't it happen to someone else?...why?why?why?...why can't i be trusted?...well...i hate this....fuck this....i'll just go on with my life...



~a life of an adventurer is never easy...nor does a life of a teenager~