first post in a long time...

it has been a long time since my last real post. I have been very busy with all the assignments, exams, quizs and what not. didn't have the time to write in this blog. already been in cleveland for 3 years and a half. a lot of things happened when i was here. a lot of good times, bad times. times when i could laugh with my friends, times when i cry alone at night. i could not believe that it had been 3 years already. i remember boarding my first flight to the states like it was only yesterday. but alas, time waits for no one.

for the past two weeks i felt like my world is becoming smaller and smaller until there is no more room left for me to breath. assignments due tomorrow, exams, quizzes, oral draft, case studies...arghh..just can't stand all of that stuff. but, that's the life of a a student here at case. you work your ass off just to get a B.

felt a liitle nostalgic tonight. scrolling through frenster like there's nothing better to do(because there is nothing better to do) looking back at all the guys and gals that i've meet, all of them looks like they will live happily ever after. as for me, well, only time will tell now won't it? everytime i write this blog, i'll remember the other times that i wrote this blog. those times were different. now i write because i'm just continuing something that i started. in those times, i wrote because i have a reason to write. because in those times, i felt like going crazy if i don't let it all out. but now, when everything is revealed, i just don't have anything to let out anymore. well, i have something occasionally, but not as frequent as the past blog entries. let just say a certain incident made me what i am today and i feel that i learned somthing from that incident. well i guess that's all for today. maybe i'll go out have a smoke and go to sleep. oyasuminasai everyone.

hek eleh..huhu

adehh..kamon la weih..kalo dah tulih blog tuh..takyah aa delete mendelete entry sebab terasa tetiba plak takut menyinggung perasaan org len...hidup kena terus beb...don't write it in the first place if you can't handle the heat later aa kan...cambest jer aku tengok tulih kat blog frenster tuh..nih best nih baca nih...kate hati setan aku...tp bukak2 jek tuptup..not found plak..try bukak blog org len bole jer...so satu je aa konklusi dia..dah delete blog entry..hadoii...tu ler..kalo nak tulih benda2 menyakitkan ati org, tulih diary jer..takyah ngengada tulih blog because you don't know who is reading...aku len..aku jenis yg tak amik kisah pon..don't give a f*&k aa kira...ko nak kate apa pasal blog aku no hal nyer..at least terus terang jer...takyah aa selindung2...tp aku mmg try to make my blog clean aa dari sumer benda2 merapu and keep it to my life only aa kot..walaupon tak berjaya2 jugak..ada aa sket2 aku tak pueh ati sini n sana...tp benda aku tak pueh ati munasabah gak aa..n aku sound for the good of eberibodi...kalo org yg aku kisahkan kat blog aku tu baca entry akuk pon mesti ada jugak aa rasa betul gak apa aku cakap...segelintir mesti ada aa walopon sebeso lubang jarum...anyway..byk keje tak buat agi nih...just want to make it clear aa...think about what you want to write in a blog before you publish it...if you want to ramble about something that you don't want others to see...write a diary or journal...and give it a password or sumthin...signing off...

hmm...

hellish...the word that most probably describes my two final weeks of classes. how about a review shall we?

today(wednesday) - assignment 340 due, japanese reading due.
thursday - assignment 4 318 due, japanese kanji kuiz, assignment 352 due.
friday - a day where i could rest..
saturday/sunday - have to do the case study for 352 due thursday, do 318 assignment due friday
monday - prepare for 352 exam...maybe tuesday or thursday...
tuesday - do 318 assignment, 340 assignment
wednesday - assignment 340 due....do stat 312 homework...318 again
thursday - japanese oral test, maybe 352 exam...have to wrap up 318...
friday - 318 due...
saturday/sunday - study for finals....argghhhh

damn...all of the above is just too much work for me... for all of you who read this and chuckle and says "that's not to hard", i salute you sir/maam...because you are officially eligible to be my idol because of your dedication and hardwork in making sure that everything in the list is completed in time...for me? well..i'm just a lazy smart ass...oh yeah and forgot to add all the volleyball tourney that i have to go, play and officiate...what? what did you ask? how about your other teammates? hmm...gee..i don't know...maybe they are just busy as i am and don't give a shit about the tourney..well i do give a shit about this tourney...playing the tourney 3 straight years without a win where we could have won if the other guys n gals gave a damn, could do that to some people..whereas a tournament where you know your going to lose because of lack of sportmanship and teamwork, is getting a lot of support...hmmm...which tournament was it again...hmm..well whatever...all i know is...for the next two weeks...i'm fucked...

dammit...

minggu nih...terasa kelegaan yg amat sebab assignment verilog ditunda hingga hari selasa minggu depan..ngahaha...so aku bole rilek sket..

baru lepas abes layan anime samurai 7...tapi tensen tengok anime nih...watak pompuan dia sebijik cam pompuan2 zaman skang...kesian mamat tuh..aku tau aa citer hero kena dapat heroin..tp..adoii..hero tua..camana bole dapat heroin siot..kesian mamat tu..telah dicurahkan segala perasaan cinta..tetapi akhirnya tumpas ditangan seorg samurai yg lagi tua yg patut mati jer..tau a mamat tua tu lagi macho n terer...tp..mamat tua tu bukan nak sangat pon kat heroin tuh...hahaha..nih la dia...ada lelaki yg minat tahap cintan giler..tapi terpikat jugak kat mamat lain yg tak tangkap cintan sangat...haiii...nak buat camana..director anime dah nak buat camtu..hahaha...

anyway...minggu nih mmg hectic giler..ngan exam n assignment yg berbukit bukau..tetapi aku rasa bole setel kot..aku pon dah lama tertunggak nak tulih blog nih..sebab dah lama sangat tak tulih..so aku rasa ada masa nih baik aku tulih sumthing..walopon aku tak tau apa nak tulih.

skang nih tengah terkenang zaman silam time freshman dulu...dang dah tiga tahun dah aku duduk kat US nih..time freshman dulu gile best (walopon kena pulau)..time freshman dulu ok jer...tak penah aa nak risau pasal gossip2 apa lancau sumer..(sebab kena pulau..mmg ler)..last year time junior..adoiii....byk betul gossip terbang ke sana ke mari...malas aku nak layan..tp sampai gak kat telinga aku walopon dah basi biler sampai telinga aku dia sampai la jugak..nih ada aa satu gossip tajuk gossip nih "lepas grad nanti aku citer"...so mmg basi tahap gaban aa n nanti biler aku grad aku rasa aku dah tak kisah apa shit pon pasal gossip nih...tp nak buat camana...out of the loop geng...aku pon bukan bole simpan sangat...so ok aa diorg tak bagitau aku...tp pikir balik sape pon aku nak bagitau? skang pon duduk terperap jer kat bilik...cam iklan petronask raya tahun nih..aku nih cam pakcik yg kena makan luar ngan tido kat luar tuh...sume org buat hal sendiri jer..hahaha..anyway...aku skang mmg tak caya aku akan grad next year..adooiii...rasa cam tanak grad jer..feeling nih sama cam dulu aa time kat MC...rasa cam tanak abes form 5 jer..tp nak buat camana..adoii...citer balik pasal gossip nih..bukan aku bengang sebab korang tak bagitau aku..tak pon..aku pon peduli apa..fuck it aa kan? tp masalah nyer...yg aku bengang..kalo dah tanak bagitau..jgn ler bukak citer pastu kate takleh citer...aku paham perasaan org yg nak attention....nanti nak suruh org yg tak dapat dengar gossip tuh merayu suruh citer...mmg aa ada sense of joy gak aa nak buat org camtu...tp bagi aku it's wrong aa..walopon aku penah buat..tp last2 bile aku dah pueh aku citer gak....nih nak tunggu grad..tak dapat aa weih..baik takyah citer dari awal camtu..pastu biler aku ada borak2 ngan korang lepas korang bukak suku citer gossip "lepas grad aku citer" nih...korang buat lawak dalaman plak pasal gossip nih...pastu bising asal senyap jer takde citer? ceh...if you don't want to talk about it fine..go ahead..tapi jgn aa citer gossip halfed ass camtu...at least nak buat camtu pon..in the near future bagi la tau gossip pasal apa..bukan in the future..in the near future..cam sebelum gossip tu basi aa...cam 1 hari sebelum expired citer ok aa kot..nih kalo kena tunggu setahun..aku rasa ada gossip lain lagi best..bukan nak menyinggung perasaan sesape..tapi..member beb..tak baik doh buat member camtu..member baik geng pon baik...if there are secrets better left untold..takyah bukan citer ok? nak bukak, bukak abes abesan...pastu discuss..baru aa ada citer...nih bukak citer halfed ass, pastu diam jer..pastu bosan lepak bodo jer...wtf....

okeh..tu je celoteh aku malam nih....aku nak tulih benda nih lama dulu..tapi takde masa...busy sangat2..pada sesape yg terasa..mmg aku tulih nih nak buat korang terasa...pikir balik aa apa yg aku tulih nih...malam nih...duduk luar tenung langit n bintang pastu pikir..

teh o beng betul aa..

nih aku malas nih...dah tau besok ada oral jepon..ngada2 pulak dia nak gi career fair..benda tuh bukan nyer seminit dua abes..3 jam siot..oral jepon tak sampai sepuloh minit pon..nak gelabah2 plak..."bob kita buat awal aa amacam aku silap amik time aa aritu..lupa ada career fair"..cet..come on la..pastu dah tau silap bukan nyer nak sound sensei awal2..kol 10 baru nak terkial2 tanya camana..nak buat sumer..aku malas betul aa camni...aku tak kisah aa nak buat awal jom buat awal..nak buat lambat jom janji tak kacau klas aku..nih cam undecided jer..aku msg tak balas plak..abeh tuh nih camana besok nih? dammit aa..aku tau aa ko dah lepas senior project sumer..amik dua klas jer semester nih..bole aa buat2 dono jer..markah jepon pon perfect jer sumer..tp pikir aa aku ni haa..nak kate terer tak terer sangat...adoiii..pastu klas 340 plak..dia tanya nak hw antar lepas fall break ke sebelum..sumer pilih sebelum...adoiii..byk la keje aku sebelum fall break nih..dengan vlsi nyer..arghhh..aku skang mmg senang emo..tp aku emo benda munasabah siot..benda yg kalo org lain mmg dah rasa nak pukul org jer...haih...ntah laa...lantak la..janji aku bole je buat oral besok..

Verilog yg memeningkan kepala...

adoiii..siap gak akhirnya assignment verilog...tak tido 2-3 hari dibuatnyer...baru first assignment nih...adehh..tu pon satu part tak reti buat..mintak2 ler dia tak tolak byk sangat markah...

skang aku cam dah takleh tido awal...paling awal pon tido kol 4..adoii..nasib baik klas stat kol 2..kalo tak mampos..haaiii...cam ni je lah kot hidup aku semester nih...tido lewat buat assignment...pastu weekend...kumpul balik tido yg tertinggal..perghh..mmg senior life kat case nih huru hara betul..

aku sebenornyer nak tulih sumthing yg dah lama berlegar kat kepala aku...yelah..aku dulu selalu cakap kat member sumer nak carik pompuan melayu baik..tak kurang hajo kat org tua...tak sombong...kira pompuan melayu dalam citer2 lama tu aa..tp rasa2 macam dah takde dah pompuan yg macam tu kat malaysia...bukan kate takde langsung..tapi..makin pupus..macam dah takde lagi dah kalo jumpa anak dara org kat pasar ke pegi beli barang ngan mak dia..pastu tersipu2..cewahhh..hahaha..susah aa nak jumpa kot...ada tu ada..tapi dia tak register dalam radar aku agaknyer..rata2 skang pompuan sumer kalo jeling kat dia sket...dia jeling balik lagi tajam ada aa..huhu..takut oo..sape suruh pakai seksi...tanak org jeling2 jgn pakai seksi..huhu...susah oo aku sebagai lelaki nak jaga nafsu kalo korang sumer pakai seksi meksi..tp tu aa..susah nak carik pompuan yg berhati baik nih..lelaki senang jer nak nampak baik ke tak..pompuan nih dia tricky sket..cewahh...cam aku tau jer..senang citer..mmg susah aa..cam member aku penah cakap kat aku aa dulu2..nak carik awek..sempoi jer ( tak rasa sempoi pon)..tapi nak carik bakal isteri..bukan main susah..huhu...tu betul aa kot..sebab setiap org ada preference sendiri...tp aku yakin aa..9 in 10 lelaki mesti ada preference " baik sopan santun n hormat org tua" yg sorang tu....saje je tak nak bagi perfect ten..bagi 9 cukup ler..dan nak carik pompuan yg ada ciri2 camni aa aku rasa susah giler skang...bagi aku aa..sebab tengok aa aku duduk mana..time stadi kat US...cet...US...balik malaysia..KL...haduii..cam carik jarum dalam rumput...ntah ler..bior ler jodoh menentukan...

Bullshit (2)

arghhh...seriously i'm pissed off right now..aku seriously nak tumbuk something or belasah someone...arghhh..fuck!! camana aku nak redakan aku nyer emo nih..adoii..bullshit aaa bullshit!!! ARGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Bullshit...

pundek aa weih...poyo jer lebey.."nak bilik ngan ko aaa bob..nak bilik ngan ko aa..ngan org len aku tak ngam aa" apa shit sumer...aku dah kate..aku dengkur..ko tak kisah ke? tak2 bole jer..nak suite ngan ko..bullshit aa...time takde rokok buat muka kambing innocent pastu datang bilik aku ketuk "bob ada rokok?" pukimak aa...aku bukan apa sial..nak sound sound baik2 aa pukimak..subtle2 dah aa..aku tau aa aku berdengkur sumer..tapi takyah aa layan aku cam aku penah buat dosa beso ke apa..paham akk pundek? "bob, bob sori weih kejutkan ko..ko dengkur kuat sangat aa..aku nak stadi bole tido dalam bilik ko tak?"...susah sangat ke nak cakap baik2 camtu? nak kate ko org melaka bapak jauh sekali..kalo ko org melaka aku paham aa mmg tak pandai jaga mulut cam aku ni haa..nampak nih sume kuar...cakap aa baik2 beb..aku bukan apa..kecik ati ko tau tak..macam ko pikir ko tu perfect sangat ke nak sound org giler babi sangat.." oii bob ko dengkur kuat giler babi sampai bilik aku dengar..tido bililk ko bole akk?" gile babi kecik ati sial..nak mintak rokok pandai buat muka kimak malu2 tersipu2 macam jumpa bini malam pertama...my ass aa..bullshit aa weih serios bullshit..aku tak kisah ko nak sound aku..tapi pakai akal sket time sound nanti bole akk? try susun ayat dulu sebelum sound..nak kate aku penyabar tak jugak..terbakar gak telinga aku dengar kimak...tp aku bole still control aa tangan nih..jgn pikir tangan nih tak penah singgah kat muka org beb...tu jer..

fucking ass..bullshit..macam ni ke member treat member? come on aa..jgn pentingkan diri beb...jaga aa sket hati member...org tanak duduk sebelah ko pastu nak pindah seat lain dalam plane pandai pulak ko kecik ati...ahh..lantak ko aa..hidup n mati aa ko bersama gitar ko tuh..calos and good riddance..

ohisashiburi desune?

been a long time since my last post, been busy with all my classes. i'm too busy doing all the assignment and studying until i don't have the time to write this blog anymore..but this blog still goes on and on. as long as i have a pair of hands and a laptop or desktop and an internet connection, this blog is on baby!! so don't fret, maybe i'm not going to be posting as regularly as usual but i'll post something soon enough. but for now, study, study study!!!

~the life of a senior standing CASE student is never easy....

unbelievable...

today, nothing much happen. well, just that something from the past that i have already forgotten nearly 5 years already came back to haunt me..hahaha...just thinking about it makes me want to laugh..i should have known not to explore frenster today. and why is she here? in america? damn takde continent lain ke dia bole pegi? anyway, didn't know she was here in the states. so it was her i saw in illinois last year.. arghh..i thought it was my imagination playing petty tricks on me. well, she was history anyway. but i don't like this type of feeling. she was the first. and she happens to be here. what are the odds right? damn. well, fate has its ways to make you laugh on a gloomy day doen't it? hahaha. okey enough about the past.

today i have a meeting about my final presentation....again...i hate this presentation stuff..another 2 hours and i'll be downstairs doing powerpoint and stuff for the presentation. tomorrw maybe have a little rehearsal for it..arghh just hope to be done with it as soon as possible. another two weeks and i'm off to malaysia man. and i'll have 3 weeks to rest before class starts again. another year until i graduate. the funny thing is, i want to stay like this forever. in this university with friends..haha. but alas, life must go on. i'll be going home next year, doing nothing at first and then find a job. work my butt off everyday. arghhh...boring!!!

ouran gakuen hosutobu..irrashaimase!!!

tak tau dah nak tulih apa kat blog nih...sebab rasa life aku mmg dah jadik rutin jek skarang nih...nothing interesting anymore...member sumer lepas sorang balik..sorang lagik balik...pastu sorang lagik..adoiii..makin mundane hidup aku kat bumi cleveland yg sememangnyer mundane nih..

hmm..semalam gi tengok fireworks kat the flats..4th of july le katekan...lebey kurang cam last year nyer fireworks jer..at least this year bole tengok dari awal sampai abes aa..last year punya dapat tengok tengah2 jer..sebab lambat..

dah lama tak bermain basketball...bukan aku tanak men..dah sorang2 nak buat camana..huhu..org len sumer demam men bola le katekan..world cup ni haa punya demam..takde le org nak men basket dah skarang..adoii..makin bosan aa aku tiap2 ptg..aku gi men kat veale pon men sorang2 shooting2..driving2 bodo jer..kalo mamat omputeh tu tak cukup org baru le aku join..kalo tak segan aku..bukan terer sangat pon..tengok diorg men pon aku dah rasa level jauh giler..kena training lagi aa kira kalo nak men on the same level ngan diorg..

tensen aa..arghhh...tensen giler..rasa cam nak menjerit sekuat hati jer..tp kat mana aku nak jerit? kat dalam bilik nih walopon sound proof..aku rasa org len akan dengor gak nanti..malau la plak nanti..huhuhu..too much rage deep inside..feeling like a balloon ready to explode..adoii..

need to do something to vent out my anger...pressure..whatever you want to call it aa..main basket aa initially..tp dah takde org nak men..adoiii..org yg dedicated pon cam takde respon jer..arghh..haiii..besok men sorang ler aku kat veale sok..

lama doh tak post benda kat sini...

haaa...dendang datang lagi dengan mesin celoteh abg bob...har har har...apa aku nak berleter ari ni aa? aku pon dah tak tau dah..semenjak dua menjak nih asik bz jer..adoii..takleh rehat betul aa time summer nih...duit pon tengah kesempitan..mahu meminta, malu pula...adoiii...ngaaa...teguk air water fountain la aku jawab nyer..

world cup stat dah...n cam biasa aku sokong england ngan jepon..england sebab..ntah ada rooney..har har har...jepon plak wakil asia aa kot..nak harap iran dah kalah 3-1 ngan mexico..har har..nak tengok game jepon besok tp ada klas la plak..adoii...perut plak tengah penuh nih sebab tadik ada makan2 kat umah kak marina? betul ke nama dia? betul aa kot..aku pon tak pasti..nak borak2 ngan dia tadik pon segan..english aku bukan best sangat pon..kang dia jawab english aku gi tibai BM tak sedap la plak kang..huhu..

err..dah tak tau dah nak tulih apa dah..haii..punya lama dah tak tulis blog nih..takde benda aku nak tulih? nampak sangat hidup aku bosan..hahaha..

aiyoyo

aiyoyo..suda lama tara update ini blog...nak kate bz tak le jugak..malas jer sebenornyer..har har har..

first things first...suda pindah village da..har har..best gak aa bilik..beso gak aa..barang aku dah aa sket..nampak kosong jer bilik..bilik org len sumer penuh jer..kuikuikui..tp ok aa gak takde aa sampai 2-3 hari memindah barang..pindah 4-5 trip jer..abes dah barang aku..pastu dapat barang free plak tuh..ntah windbreaker sape kat dalam stor umah lama kat twin gables tu..takde org nak claim aku kebah je aa...bukan windbreaker jer...beg adidas satu..pouch tropicana life satu..beg travel satu ( walopon beg travel tu ada nama had..kuikuikui ) sumer aku sebat..dah takde org nak claim..barang aku aa jadik nyer..har har har..midwest ari tu volleyball menang satu game jer..heh..dah tak power siot main volley..byk salah aku gak kot time tu..kalo aku tak silap serve first game ngan RPI takde aa bahu aku terherot2..bole spike best2 sket..nak buat camana beb..nasi jadik bubur..distraction byk aa..aku mana bleh byk sangat distraction nih..har har har...tp ok aa bole menang ngan penn state..puas hati aku..hahaha...nak main sampai rubber set ye bajak? har har..nasib baik aa syed ngan taufiq datang..kalo tak kalah gak aku rasa..adoii..next year main basket aa plak..tengok aa kalau ada org nak main basket..kalo takde join je aa mana2 team..selamba jer..

ok..dah aa tak gi semayang jumaat ari nih..terlambat bangun aa..bukan tanak pegi..huhu..ok aa..that's all for today..

22nd is a little bit depressing than 21st..

hepi besday weih bob weih..har har har..dah 22 siot..gilak aa..22 siot..takpe2..life starts at 40..har har har

abeh dah spring 2006

okeh..spring is in the past..now looking forward to summer and fall 2006..heh...just feeling a little disappointed today. ye aa..men basket kejap jek..sebab ramai org lain men..dang..pastu nak men volley takleh plak ujan..main bola..adoiii..penat doh men bola..ntah aa..maini basket tak penat pon..men bola lak penat..har har har..camana volley nih..risau aku..nak train camana nih? veale comencement..adelbert plak ramai men basket..

aa satu benda aku nak sound aa kat sape2 yg baca blog nih..satu benda jer..come on aa..tau aa bebudak volley tak training apa kan...tapi tak payah la nak kutuk2 blakang..tak kisah pon kutuk2 blakang..tp make sure aa budak volley takde time korang kutuk tuh..ingat main bola korang hebat sangat ker? menang premidwest jer dah bole naik belang ker? come on aa..bukan kitaorg tanak training aa weih..tengok aa keadaan sekeliling camana..hujan..adelbert penuh..veale takleh pakai..bukan cam bola byk jer padang bleh main..pastu hujan tak kisah plak tuh..giler power korang..kitaorg tak power camtu aa nak main dalam hujan..nanti demam..heh..come on aa...akal ada pakai aa..studies jer power common sense takde baik tak payah weih....bukan nak kate apa aa..hangin ko tau akk..cuba org kutuk2 bebudak bola..cam perang dunia ketiga korang marah..poyo aa..professional aa sket nak kutuk2 pon..nih kutuk main lepas jer tak tengok sekeliling..giler lesen L nak kutuk2..tak kisah aa...aku tak kisah aa korang nak kate apa..janji korang puas hati ngan bola sepak korang...aku puas hati ngan basketball n volleyball aku..

pada bebudak volley pon..bukan tanak buat training ker apa..aku tau aa ramai nak training..tp nak buat camana..takde tempat siot..bole jer nak train dig set spike kat mana2..tp dua tiga hari nih hujan..i know sumer org semangat midwest..semangat2 pon kesihatan kena jaga gak..semangat2 tapi jatuh sakit tak dapat main midwest kan teruk..mmg aa target nak dapt pingat..tapi kena aa wasatiah sket..nak pingat pon nak la jugak..tp nak gak sihat sumer..nih kang training gegila pastu demam plak time midwest..sebab main dalam hujan..pastu kalah cam biasa melayu salahkan satu sama lain..ceh..bosan..serios aa jgn aa zealous sangat dalam training nih..serious in training aku tak kisah..that is good..tapi zealous yg buat dia bahaya..

tu je aa aku nak sound oii bebudak bola..tau aa korang dahagakan pingat..and aku tau korang mmg terer..tapi jgn aa kate " ada ke volley cam takde jer tak training pon heh..bajet hebat"..come on aa..patut bagi aa sokongan..aku bukan budak bola pon aku sanggup main korang tau tak hujan2 tuh..nak tolong member punya pasal..tengok pon tadik cam tak cukup org jer...ntah aa..kalo ada org tersinggung aku minitak mahap awal2..korang singgung aku dulu..i'm just returning the favor..ntah aa kan..aku mana tau nikmat jadi juara..kitaorg dapat third place jer midwest...so we don't know the feeling of being champions..tak cam korang aa..menang premidwest..power siot..

yg tersinggung,
Bobby

my past..

hmm..nak tulih apa nih..besok exam..but aku rasa..nak tulih sumthing..sumthing yg aku rasa patut aku tulih sini..my past..

my past...

aku lahir 1030 malam 18 may 1984...bapak aku nak namakan aku ali or ahmad nama simple2..tapi mak aku tanak..nak nama grand2..sebab mak aku kate dia nak aku jadi grand cam nama aku..hidup aku best..seronok..dalam keluarga sederhana..ada satu mercedez lama yg bapak aku sayang giler..pastu..bapak aku beli kete proton first edition..sebab kete merz tu dah rosak..mmg takleh pakai dah..so kete proton tu aa a.k.a "Jibam" (sebab no. plate dia JBM) jadik kete kesayangan dia..pastu 1992..detik paling gelap hidup aku..jun 1992..pukul 10(rasanyer) tetiba telepon bunyi..kakak angkat aku shazana( kot nama dia lupa..) angkat telepon..tetiba dia nangis..aku tanya asal nangis..kakak aku tanak jawab..so aku bior je aa..tetiba..dalam kol 12 ke satu camtu sumer sedara mara dekat aku sampai umah...aku kecik time tuh pikir...uikk..ada kenduri best ke nih? pastu..pakcik aku yg rapat ngan akuk tarik aku ke tepi..pastu dia bagitau satu benda yg aku tak paham time tu..tapi akan aku ingat sampai bebiler.." adi..adi kena sabar ye nak ye...pakcik nak bagitau pon pakcik rasa berat hati pakcik.." aku tanya bagitau apa.." abah adi dah kembali ke rahmatullah nak" " adi kena byk bersabar ye nak ye"..walaupon aku tak berapa paham time tuh..tetiba aku rasa air mata aku mengalir..aku tak paham..kenapa aku nangis nih? apa nih? dalam masa seminggu aku rasa confuse..kenapa sumer org sedih nih..aku mmg tak tau apa time tu..abg sulung aku..menguncikan diri dalam bilik..abg second aku time tu nak amik SPM...biler mak aku balik..nampak mak aku sorang jer..mak aku tak nangis tak sedih apa pon...aku tanya dengan gaya selamba..abah mana mak? kat dalam lagi ke? time tu mak aku mmg dah tak bole tahan dah nak nangis..pastu baru aku tau abah takkan balik malaysia lagi..dia selamat dikebumi kat mekah...lepas aku dapat tau berita tu..aku mmg dah rasa takde tempat nak bergantung..sebab aku mmg rapat ngan ayah aku..org kate..biler kehilangan org tersayang..mmg peristiwa tu akan ubah perangai ko completely...and it's true..aku dulu mak aku kate aa..aku dah lupa dah sumer nih..aku kanak2 ceria aa kira..suka gelak2..suka tanya benda sumer..suka buat member..tapi..aku ubah completely..sadness overwhelmed me man..all the things that could make me happy was just not enough to make me smile again..even sarah..sarah my best friend at that time..i became kera sumbang..masam jer muka..mmg takleh dah nak buat muka hepi..then family aku pindah melaka..mak aku dapat keje lain..terpaksa amik keje lain..because of the pay..she's raising 5 kids on her own..at that time..3 of them was in UK..imagine how she had worked day and night..aku tak merungut..bila aku balik sekolah takde org kat rumah..just something to eat on the table...maybe nothing on the table..i did not say anything..because i know my mother..i know she is strong..but at night i know she cries a lot in her prayers..i felt so worthless because i can't help with anything..i don't have any frens at the maktab quarters because every kid there see me as the pengetua's son..not as a boy yg takde member..sumer tanak dekat ngan aku..sebab takut kalau aku pissed off ngan diorg parents diorg kena pecat..hahaha..wth man..makin lonely aku jadik..makin gloomy hidup aku..every day..just thinking why? kenapa abah? honestly..at certain times i was mad at god...but lama2..i just accept it...his time was up..but the trauma was dramatic..even my mother was concerned..every night my mom said i always say abah in my sleep..she cried when i do that..at school was no different..everyone first sees me as sombong anak pengetua MPPM..they thought that i was a rich person's son...i don't give a damn by that time..started smoking in darjah 5..everyone until now thinks that i lied about that..one thing my father told me..never lie..tapi kalo white lie ok..hehe..mmg terumbang ambing idup aku..tak tentu arah..tried hard to study..tapi paling tinggi pon nombor 7..last skali dapat no 1 was before my father died..peristiwa tu mmg bagi tekanan beso dalam hidup aku..tapi i have a datuk sedara at melaka.. and i treated him hampir cam aku anggap bapak aku sendiri..his kids were my first frens at melaka..and through them i found that my life could be happy again..i started to smile..started to do everithing with a positive look..when my mother got a new job in KL..at his house aa aku tinggal..with his kids yg aku anggap cam darah daging aku sendiri..my life was looking brighter and brighter..abes PMR aku dapat 7A 1B and he was the first person that i hugged..i cried like hell..because he was like a father to me but he died last february i think..so i lost two fathers already..so i'm possibly at my worst state this past 2 months..

i'm not telling you all this story to make you symphatize me..i don't need it..aku nak bagitau jer..korang kate hidup korang susah..hidup korang terumbang ambing..hidup korang tak tentu arah..think of this story..i lived without a father for 14 years already..i know ada org yg lagi teruk dari aku..but kalo cam korang datang US tapi keje korang tido, do nothing else but having a good time other than studying and you say to me that your life is miserable and doing those things makes your life a bit happier...that's bullshit..MY life is miserable..imagine seeing your mother crying in the middle of the night thinking of a way to get money to support her children overseas and in malaysia..imagine you are neglected alone at home day in and day out without anyone to talk to for three fucking years..hearing rumors that your mother is going to marry a dato' just after a week your father died and everyone believed that bullshit even your close relatives..THAT is miserable my frens..petty things like heartbreaks and backstabbers, fights even life at CASE all those other things are nothing to me..so please..don't do this to me anymore..don't say i am loaded with money..my mother is happy giving her kids money..because she was miserable when she can't give her kids money in the past..you think i wanted the money she gives? of course i do..but..not that much..i always say to her..sket2 jer..takyah banyak2..you know what she said?..takpe2...mak ada duit..mak ada duit..do you know how happy she is when she is saying that? for 5 years she struggled always saying adi..mak takde duit adi..mak takde duit..korang tau tak betapa terharunyer aku biler mak aku cakap camtu..so please...don't bitch about your petty problems yg aku rasa bole selesai..evryone has problems..but don't make your small problems big..because it's stupid..jgn aa besarkan2 masalah..masalhtu dah kecik..senang nak selesai..tapi korang besar2kan..adoii..

amik ler teladan..kalo tanak takpe..

the last day of classes

skarang ku kebosanan n kelapangan tetapi ku tiada idea yang bernas utk penulisan ini...hahaha...apa ko merepek nih bob..mengarut tul aa..

adeh...macam nak terkantoi jer semester nih..harap2 aa aku nyer CGPA tak drop teruk sangat..aku tak kisah GPA aku apa semester nih..tapi CGPA woo..kalo dah 2.sumthin nanti susah giler nak naik balik..adeh..dammit aa semester nih..baru perasan bukan susah pon class math tuh..aku jer yg buatkan dia susah..klas 314 pon sama..klas 315 pon sama..klas econ aku tak tau aa..mmg aku takde bakat kot dalam econ2 nih..tak paham aku..ngaaa...siot aa semester nih..what the hell am i doing this past 4 months? sulking? my ass aa sulking..not my style (cewahhh!!!..hahaha)...neglecting studies? nih mungkin aa kot..hahahaha...ntah aa setan byk siot badan nih..nih ada satu setan beso nih..kepala botak pakai spek..(aku ler tu)...arghhh...kalo aku struggle the whole semester ari tuh serios bole 3.5 sumthing ker..adoiiiii...tension aa aku camnih..sumer salah aku..ngaaaa...nak buat camana..bubur dah jadik nasi..eh eh silap nasik jadi bubur...

weekend ari tuh spring fest...apa yg best spring fest aku pon tak tau..biasa jek..sama jek tiap2 tahun...satu jer aa kot best..jumpa sofia comel tengah jalan2 pakai skirt labuh dia tuh pastu pakai t-shirt ketat..huhuhu..i know her fashion sense is a little questionable aa..tapi..sofia beb..nasib baik ko dah ada pakwe ( aku rasa je aa..u san tu pakwe dia kot..)..kalo tak dah lama aku masuk..har har har..dengar2 spring fest ari tuh laura ada buat kissing booth..ewwww...ada org kate best? dah berapa byk jantan dah minah tu cium...ewww...hahaha..lepas spring fest cam biasa gi lepak umah elyas..lama tak lepak umah tuh...pastu semalam ada terkontang kanting aku buat hw..hw math ngan jepon jer siap...econ..buat dua soklan jer..harap2 aa gary bagi full points..sebab selalu camtu..kuikuikui...

cavs kalah semalam..adehhh...bodo aa...bukan susah pon wizards..drive in je aa..bukan beso pon wizards nyer players..takkan injured nyer aa kalo ko langgar..dia injured ada aku rasa..nak jugak shoot perimeter dah tau percentage masuk tak tinggi..aku lain ler..aku bukan pro...selamba jer shoot suka ati aku...hohohoho...adeh..

ari nih last day class jepon...adoiii..sedey aa kishi sensei dah tak ajo next semester..hagiwara sensei la plak menanti..ngaaa..takpe2..sofia amik lagi klas 301 next year..yes2..next year nyer oral nak buat ngan sofia..hahahahaha...merepet siot..

nak main basketball ker main game ptg nih? main basket penat..tido besok mesti tak bangun nyer..hmmm..main game aa kot..har har har

ngaa..minggu paling havoc dalam semester nih..

adeh..pening nyer kepala..arghhh..dammit aa...aku tensen aa minggu nih..byk benda kena buat tapi cam takde masa la plak nak buat sumer..

ari nih tadik dengan malunyer and for the first time hp aku bunyi dalam klas..dammit..dah aa dalam klas jepon..dah aa lagu Hana..arghhh...malu giler syial...dah aa tak tau nombor sape..sape weih call aku kol 2.36 ptg tadik baik ngaku weih..siot giler..lupa plak nak vibrate phone tadik..adeh..tp takpe..dapat gak pujian2 sket tadik..hahahaha...nice ring tone..har har har...tengok aa sape edit..mesti aa nice..harharhar..dah2 aku bz..tak tau nak tulih apa..keje2..arghhh

hoi hoi

pejam celik dah lagi seminggu jer class..pastu final aa..ngaaa..gilak aa dah nak finals dah..rasa cam tak belaja apa2 pon..hohoho..

ok semalam tetiba plak terasa cam nak tengok berat badan sendiri berapa..hahaha...tengok2 uik..79? bior betul..hahaha..bagi aku tu kira dah kuruih aa tuh..before this tengok 85..turun berapa kilo tu beb..byk tuh turun..gilak aa..hebet2..anyway..sekarang nih aku tengah kemaruk ngan hp baru aku...Motorola SLVR L7 beb..tak main aa L6..bosan..(ilek dolah..hahaha) nanti nak carik screen protector aa..takut oo kalo calar..sayang oo..haha..tak lama nih..sekejap jer..nanti calar aa..hahaha..tapi aku rasa aa..nih aa phone the first and the last yg akan aku beli..kalo phone tak rosak tetiba aa in the near future..adeh..aku dah tak reti nak tulih apa..project 314 nih bukan main punya pening kepala di buatnyer...ngaaaa..siot aa..cepat aa weih cuti..aku dah tak tahan dah nih..adehhh..

yosh..building 1, 2 or 3?

tup tap tup tap tinggal berapa minggu jek lagik finals nak stat..adeh..penin aa kepala eden camni..khamis nih kena pilih building gak..tak kisah aa dapat mana janji kat NRV building 1, 2 or 3..senang sket..takyah susah2 pindah barang nanti..

ari nih exam stat kol 930..lepas exam econ dah down dah..pastu exam math plak kol 1030..down lagi..adeh..berterabur benda aku menghafal pagi tadik..time econ ingat la benda2 pasal math..time math plak..baru dia nak kuar benda2 pasal econ..haiii..memory management tak betul langsung...hahaha..tak kisah aa..janji sem nih takde aa seteruk sem yg aku dapat fizik F tu..hopefully aa..kalo teruk gak terpaksa aa kot repeat satu klas ke..dua klas ke..ngaaa..tanak..kalo camtu baik aku extend..hahaha..malas gak sebenornyer nak graduate awal2 nih..lepak2 aa dulu..dang terasa bosan malam nih..takde hw due besok..tapi malas nak buat hw due rabu plak..haha..mmg camni ler aku rasa sampai ke tua..benda due besok ari nih baru terkial2 nak buat..

a statement that will clear it once and for all..

okeh..first things first...i'm suppose to be studying for my 2 exams tomorrow..econ stadi dah..nak stadi math 304 jek nih..but to all who is reading my blog..i just want to make one thing clear..

i'm not interested anymore ok? all the things that went on the past two weeks was just matters of my assignments n homeworks that is really getting on my nerves..i don't know what you all heard and i don't care aaa if my face is like muka orang nak terjun bangunan kan? but that is just how my face looks like all the time!!! hahaha..well it's true..

it's true i've been a little depressed lately but it's strictly about my studies..2 days without sleep doing programming for my 314 class and just did only 2 out of 3 questions? anyone would be disappointed..well..i don't know about you guys aa but i am disappointed at least..and with all the things about my mom saying "i'm worried about you" all the time is not helping me either..and the fact that i haven't slept on my beloved couch for a week adds up to my behavior lately...

but put that all aside...i'm really thankful that i have frens that care about me so much aa kan? seriously thanks for everything..but i'm ok..no hard feelings, terasa cam nak bunuh diri ke apa ke tadak..all is well in the minds of bobby..i'm still cheerful..but skang nih cam dah kurang sket aa kot..takde aa cam dulu..asik bz jer skang nih..hoho..too many assignments man...nak main game skang pon dah kena pikir 2,3 kali..tapi last2 aku main jugak..haha

so..lastly before i go into studying mode..just want to say a couple of things..
1) i am a guy who honors friendship above anything else..because in my opinion..frens are forever

2) i'm not going to make a girl cry..(kalo ada pon by accident)

3) i will do everything in my power to make everyone around me happy even if it takes my happiness away..because the sight of seeing an unhappy friend to me, is worse than me feeling unhappy..

so..with all the statements above..i hope you guys know why i did the things i did..and why i didn't do the things that some guys told me i should..that's just me..some will say i'm just too nice..what can i do about it..it's just how i was raised up to be...

so there you have it..i am who i am..huhu..okeh..nak stadi math 304..exam2..

arigatoo gozaimasu

international dinner best..walopon muka aku ngan jet kena lindung ngan momon n the guitar geng but still best....hohoho

and thanks a lot guys...eventhough sebenornyer it's not necessary but it still light up my day..hehehe

200th post..

another thursday, another class i didn't go to...seems like i don't have the drive to go to that class anymore...frankly, i judt don't have the drive to do anything anymore..seems like all the things i do just ends up hurting me more...i just don't care about anything anymore..because when i care about something when it's gone it's gonna hurt..i just can't take it anymore...i have lost a lot of things, people, friends, family for the past 22 years and i just can't take it anymore..i can't cope with it..everyday the frustration just keeps piling up until i am drowned by it...when i try to calm my mind and shut my self from everything else...i can't do it and "some" people despise it...but when i try to be thoughtful and friendly, i'm totally ignored..i just can't take it anymore...everything here is a big fat lie...the biggest scale lie that i have ever seen.. people hating each other then tomorrow you'll see them together like best of friends..hehe...what kind of world am i living in? i hate this life of mine..because i have ideals..but i can't live up to them..because i'm not strong enough? yes, that's one way to put it...who is strong enough? heh..here i am staring into a black deep abyss with no bottom. the way i'm feeling right now, the abyss is looking really tempting right now...maybe i'll just jump in and never come out..then everyone will be happy...including me..

genki?

weekend yg tak productive langsung...thought that i could get some rest from the hectic week..but nooo..there will be something that spoils the mood..never fails aa every weekend kan..but what can you do in a situation like this? absolutely nothing aa kan..everyone including myself need to act their own age aa once in a while...suck it up and move on laa..to some people this task is not that easy..but that's life aa kan..who says life is gonna be easy...

responsibility is something that we all have..but pandai2 aa prioritize the important and the not so important things...there will be times when we make mistakes in prioritizing our responsibilities..once or twice ok aa..but after the third time is just too much man..believe me if you can't learn to prioritize now..you'll be lost in the real world..skarang nih bole aa..member ramai, senang nak mintak tulun..nanti dah tua sok..believe me..you'll be all alone..so pandai2 aa jaga diri ok? to all the people who's reading this blog pesan2 aa member...aku dah serik dah menghantar member balik tanpa degree...if you have a problem or can't decide on something..jgn aa tetiba jadik pemalu tahap gaban plak..tanya2 aa..everyone need guidance..from above tu mmg mesti..tapi tanpa usaha guidance tu takkan datang sendiri...usaha aa sket..mmg aa fun duduk US nih..fun2 pon kena ingat jugak..the money we are using the money of our people..and don't give me bullshit like parents aku bayar gak so kira cam duit parents aku..come on...berapa percent sangat parents ko bayo? study must be the first thing on your mind everyday you wake up..aku pon bukan selalu pikir camtu..but..i'm trying my best aa to think like that..just sit back and think about it.............what is your priority? fun? study? think about it yourself....and whatever that makes you happy...go for it...generasi akan datang beb..2020..what does the future holds nobody knows...but, we can mold it ..not to be perfect...but just nice...

kan aku dah kate..mesti ramai nyer yg berkata2..

satu lagi..malas mmg aa bukan alasan yg munasabah aku tau...sesape yg ada kat case nih pon tau sebab sumer org kat sini bijak pandai bukan bodo tongong..tapi kan...takde korang terasa diorg nih tak gi sebab technicality ker? contoh aa kan..dah sound dah jom tunggu bilikr asyid bawak tiket skali..apa balasan yg aku terima? aa aku tak pegi aa bob tiket aku dah bagi kat feezul? if you were in my position aa kan apa perasaaan ko kalo ko dah siap2 nak pegi kan tetiba org yg pegang tiket cakap camtu kat ko?

korang nih pon satu...nak sound2 pon sound aa..tapi berpada2 aa sket..didn't mean to hurt anyone konon..did not mean to hurt takyah aa tulis camtu..better still takyah tulis did not meant to hurt part tuh..sebab mmg sakitkan hati pon benda yg ko tulih tu..sound tuh sound aa kan aku no hal jer..tapi ada tak you all take ur time dulu sebelum korang post benda nih sumer sound2 membuta tuli aku ngan rasyid..ye2 aku tau aku ngan rasyid kena..ada korang amik masa tanya asal tak pegi? korang sumer assume jer malas..standard aa melayu..assume membuta tuli..takde sorang pon tanya bob asal semalam ko tak gi? mmg takde niat nak tau pon..niat korang satu jer "haa..time camni aa best burn org"..pls aa..try tanya org tuh dulu before membuta tuli sound2..panas hati tau tak panas hati...tapi tak kisah aa full responsibility aku amik..aku bayar tiket no hal..so just drop it motherfuckers..aku dah fed up dah..lantak korang aa..

standard aa..

standard lepas nih byklah mulut2 yg berkata2......

pukul 3 pagi..

arghh..kul 3 pagi..tak leh tido..terasa bersalah plak tak gi concert tadik..ok aa..bayar aa duit tuh salah aku gak..malas nak tuduh sape2..mmg salah aku..walopon tiket ntah sape pegang..salah aku la jugak..aa sape pegang? boden.aa cantik sangat la tu kan..call bilik takde org angkat..aku tinggal status aku kat bilik rasyid tunggu ko je nih jom aa gerak sesama..pastu punya pandai gi msg aku kat pc aku..dah aa msg weih aku tak pegi tiket aku dah bagi kat feezul..abes tuh tiket aku ko buat apa? buang dalam longkang? aku dah terang2 tulih situ "i'm not here" kat bilik rasyid..tak paham bahasa ker..aku dah try aa weih..aku dah try dah nak masak ngan perangai ko nih..tapi serius aa..takyah aa lurus sangat..aku dah try carik ko..merata2 siot..lepas semayang jumaat aku takleh lengah2 kelas jepon..lepas klas jepon aku call bilik 3-4 kali tak angkat..aku letak status MSN..aku shout kat camar..aku dah kate dah aku kat bilik rasyid asal ramai org tak paham aa ngan status aku tuh? nak jugak msg2 aku punya msn..aku biar jer bukak kalu2 mak aku nak msg ke..kakak aku ke..bole aku baca apa diorg nak..yg korang nih kenal kan rasyid sape..msg aa rasyid..tak pon pok cik ker..kalo nak carik aku..dah terang2 dah tulis..beso2 lagi aku kat bilik rasyid..susah sangat nak paham ke? haa? hangin aa nih..korang sumer ingat akuk tanak pegi ke? nak aa pegi..aku pon takde aa hati busuk sampai camtu skali org dah bagi tiket free aku tanak pegi..aku dah siap dah pakai lawa2 sumer..dah tiket nyer takde..ko nak suruh aku pegi camtu jek? kang jadik cam nash stan belikan tiket lagi satu..lagi aa..takpe aa biar je aa aku bayar tiket tuh..mmg salah aku..my responsibility..tapi responsibility aku pon..kena aa org lain pon tolong jugak..kan? hidup tolong menolong weih..aku tengah tensen nih..bukan pasal aku kena bayar duit tiket tuh..come on aa..mmg aku nak pegi weih..mmg aa rasa kat hati macam tanak pegi..tapi org dah bagi tiket..aku pegi nyer..tapi dah takde tiket dalam tangan nak buat camana...

ya allah hangin nyer badan..arghh..

ngaaaa part 2

aa..ari nih gi klas jepon jek..tuh pon tak antar hw..antar besok kot..nih sumer gara2 demam ngan project 314 semalam aa nih..tensen tol..arghh...

dah seminggu aku rasa tak menikmati keempukan couch umah aku nih...hoho..biasa aa..bz gi stadi sana sini..bz oo..gile apa keje gile babi byk. jepon sampai terkontang kanting nih..nasib baik mid term aku A..kena stadi lebey nih jepon.

adeh..nak stadi nih...sumer org tak suka stadi..aku pon tak suka..tapi nak buat camana..nasib badan beb..nak tanak kena a harungi jugak..jgn buat pandang satu mata jer kalo ko tak suka stadi..biler tak suka stadi..mula aa nanti kepala pikir biler baca sket jer kate tak paham..baca sket jek tak paham..mak aku pesan..mak aku aa..nak stadi..mindset kena betul.hati kena tenang..jgn tenang sangat nanti terlentok tido plak..kena pikir apa yg aku nak achieve dari stadi benda nih..patut cam tu aa pikir..tapi aku selalu n ramai org pon pikir camni..."dammit, hw tak buat agi!!" "shit besok exam..arghh!!" lebey kurang camtu aa..aku cakap benda tuh sumer sebenornyer kalut pon kalut aa jugak..tp tu jugak cara aku nak tarik balik diri aku dari dunia fantasy a.k.a playstation 2 aku..hohoho..

nak stadi setting kena ada..takleh aa stadi depan PC..sape boleh..aku tak boleh..org hati cekal jer bole stadi depan PC n aku sah2 aa hati kapur..tak cekal langsung..brittle..hahaha...pastu kena ikut aa kot kesesuaian..kalo korang rasa cofortable stadi dengar lagu ke..peace and quiet ker..suka ati aa..but not with tv n pc aa kot..hoho..

tapi sebenornyer biler pikir2 balik..nak stadi camana pon sumer insya allah bole jadik..mindset tu je aa..mindset..kalo dah pikir ko tengok soklan pastu pikir takleh wat..last2 mmg aa takleh wat..pikir aa bole nih bole2..sumthin missing nih..bole buat nyer..bole jalan nyer program nih..silap sket jek nih..cam aku semalam pipkir macam nak mati buat proram..last2 ari nih demam tak gi klas..ngahahaha

a sunking ship..

ngaa..today i have tons of things to do and sooo little time to do them. wanted to buy a hp today. demo, when i thought about it a second time..nah..better buy a hp at sungei wang..cheaper..hohoho..nak balik malaysia maa bulan 8. anyway, now i'm feeling like a sinking ship that has no chance of floating again..aduii..tensen aa duduk kat case nih..asal aku mintak case? nak buat camana..second choice maa..first choice tak dapat..adeh..byk betul masalah jasmani dan rohani kat case nih..lantak aa beb..janji next year i'm graduating..if i graduate aa kan..so keep my fingers crossed and pray for the best..

ari nih cuaca cam best..nak men basket ke aa ari nih? ntah..tengok aa camner..ngahaha..

today is thursday..damn..thursday dah..arghh!!!

ok..buat pertama kali nyer aku terasa goyah ngan jepun aku..serius terasa cam nak dapat B nih..siot aa kalo jepon aku B..apa subjek lain aku nak A? waaa..tanak aa camni..susah siot..adeh..byk silap la plak tadik time buat quiz..adoiii..tensen aa..okeh..ponteng 314 cam biasa..muahahahaha..

penat aa international dinner nih..byk la plak watak aku..maleh aa..penat badan weih..byk scene plak tuh..aku pon tak tau dalam 10 minit bole abes ke tak..5 scene tuh..gile apa..buang aa satu dua scene ok aa kot..buang sumer tinggal scene twist tu je pon dah kira ok aku rasa..har har har..penat sehh nak jalan2 aa jadi baby aa..menari twist lagik..kejar org lagik..haih..giler babi byk keje aku..hahahaha..blasah je aa..last aa international dinner buat aku..hahaha..next year mesti takde nyer..berapa kerat jer tinggal..kalo ada pon no way aa aku nak masuk campur..lain aa kalo bab menari2 ker..ok aa kot..zapin ker..joget lambak ker..joget abg kus ker..hahahaha..semalam baru layan seniman bujang lapuk..masyuk siot..dah layan nak dekat 100 kali pon tak jemu lagik..hahaha..mula2 nak carik pendekar bujang lapuk..takde la plak..terjumpa seniman tengok ajelah..

"eh eh..cik salmah..ehehe..hm..ehe.."
"si ramli tu kalau jumpa jer perempuan..ehehe..hm..ehem..menyampahh"
"cik ramli nak pergi mana nih?"
"nak pergi carik keje cik salmah"
"oii ramli, nak carik keje ke nak jual minyak?"
"minyak apa?"
"minyak urat"
"oo..cik ramli nak pegi carik keje ada duit tambang tak?"
"ehh..ada..ada..ehe..takde"
"aduhh..malunye akuu!!"
"nah ambillah (dengan nada manja)"
"eh takpe cik salmah bapak saya baru kirim duit dari Hong Kong"
"ambillah ( dengan nada lagi manja)"
"org kate tak payah cik salmah"
"allah, org dah bagi duit tu kebah jer la..malu2 kucing pulak"
"ambillah (nada manja tak ingat kalo refuse menyesal)"
"org kate tak payah(ambik duit)"
"heh apa daa ko terhegeh2"
"ko byk cakap..nih nak pegi jalan ampas macamana?"
"ko dapat singgit kan? naik teksi aa"
"ko ingat nih duit bapak ko bagi ye?"
"apa nak gaduh2 naik beca roda tiga sudah laa"
"haa..yg tuh murah mari kita pergi"
"lokek"

ngahahaha...lawak siot..mmg tak ingat punya lawak..

"abg ramli..pernah tak duduk dengan perempuan dekat macam nih?"
"dekat macam nih? uish lagi dekat cik salmah macam nih haa.."
"betul ke?"
"betul.. lagi satu kalau saya tengah sedih dia peluk2 saya cium2 pipi saya cik salmah"
"bencilah"( gaya merajuk tak ingat)
"ehh..cik salmah marah ke?"
"sape perempuan tuh?"
"nenek saya"
"ehehe..nakal"
"eh cik salmah..haii..masuk angin keluar asap"

mgahahahaha...dah2..abeh dah lawak..nih jer kot celotehan ilham junai di utk ari nih..hoho

ngaaaaa

arghhh!!! tensen kepala otak aa schedule minggu nih...waaa..cepat aa abes weih semester nih..aku dah tak tahan dah nih..haha..byk giler keje..

mak aku baru jek call tadik..ada citer kate dia..citer dia giler tak best aku dengar..ada ker patut pak cik aku carikkan bakal tunang aku??!! wtf man...i appreciate aa the thought kan..but please..i can search for my future wife on my own thank you...anyway..minah tuh dah aa budak kampung aku..minah nih dulu dah aa cam member guling2 dalam lumpur perangai tomboy sumer..adeh..pak cik aku nih pon satu aa..dia yg byk problem pandai2 plak carik tunang utk aku..hahaha..lawak sial..btw muda lagik aku nih..bukan matang sangat pon nak jaga anak dara org..aku nih cam apa org kate..a late bloomer aa kira..masih berjiwa kanak2 lagik nih..hahaha..meremang bulu roma aku sebentar tadik..giler apa..walopon mak aku kate jgn pikir sangat..(mmg aku takkan pikir pon lepas nih)..but still aa..quite a scare jugak aa tadik..kalo dia heboh satu kampung mampos..tipu jer aa aku dah ada yg berkenan..haha..abes citer..cakap jek..ada berkenan sorang minah saleh nih..haha..come on aa..ur talking about my future man..no way..no way..kena heret camana pon no way..haii..lawak2..kalo dia kate nak carik kan tunang tuh minah feymes2 ker..aku no hal aa..har har har..cam siti nurhaliza ker..walopon tua sket aku no hal nyer..hahaha..haii..dah2..abes2..

malam nih buat hw econ plak..adeh..6 soklan lagi aku kena buat..malam besok plak..all out jepon ngan 315 lak..adeh..gugur jantung aku camni..next week plak ada project 314 plak..adeh..giler babi aa schedule aku..macam CEO siot ada keje tiap2 ari..dammit..biler laa..nak summer nih..cepat aa summer..tulun tulun..arghh..nak meletup kepala camni..last semester takde plak nak meletup kepala..overheat kejap jek otak last sem..this sem aa..rasa dah teroverheat dah nak dekat dua tiga kali dah..tunggu time jek nih nak putuih fius..hahaha..

pastu ada plak laa international dinner nyer persembahan..tak pasal2 kena jadik cam watak utama plak..adeh..susah aa..kalo aku tak datang ari tuh..huhu..takpe2..buat jer..cambest gak sebenornyer..scene twist tu je aa..seronok gak menari2 nih..huhu..amik klas menari ok gak..ntah..malas aa..baik main basket..hahaha..

midwest plak tak tau aa nak main apa..cam biasa aku register jer dua..volley ngan basket..kalo takde volley main ler basket ngan mamat2 mana ntah nanti..ada aa ajim..aku pass dia jer kot..kalo aku main aa utk wiscon nanti..tak tau agi aa..tulun aa ada volley..bole jer makan minni tuh..basket mmg takleh bagi apa2 harapan aa kot..lawan nebraska doh..sekor2 stamina cam unta..tak dapat aa..haii..harap2 aa ada volley..dah gian tahap melampau nih nak main..ntah aa ada lagi ke takde serve kijang aku..kalo ada ok aa kot..kalo tak de..adeh..malap gak aa rasa..

dah2..jom2 buat econ..besok kena tenung muka gary plak..adeh..nasib baik ko pandai buat lawak gary..kalo tak..haii..

ok..fine..

baru aku tau aa..actually dah lama perasan tapi aku pikir baik jer..pikir jer bebudak nih bz ker..ada keje lain ker..tp skang mmg dah terbukti aa..sume talam dua muka jer sumer..amik class sesama..kalo amik sesame..sorang tuh terer rapat2 aa..kiss ass tak ingat..nak mintak ajar aa apa aa..burit jer sumer tuh..kate je aa nak tiru..be honest aa..walau nak buat benda tak baik pon..cam aku..kalo nak tiru aku kate je nak tiru...takde bunga2 dah..pastu kalo mamat tuh tak terer giler terus tak hirau sial..takde pon niat hati nak tanya stadi ok ker..hw ko dah siap ker belum..ada benda ko tak paham ker..takde..sumer pentingkan diri sendiri..hati busuk..come on aa..perangai camni bukan perangai melayu doh..org asing pon kate melayu nih stick together through hard times and good times..kalo dia betul2 aa tau benda nih sume..mmg kena kutuk tak ingat aa..come on aa tulun aa member..aku tak kisah kalo ko tanak bagi tiru beb..tapi at least bagitau aa reason dia..jgn aa buat alasan2 bodo yg org tau bukan betul pon..baru nak buat aa..tak siap lagi aa..mintak tulun pagi2 buta beb..mmg dah out of options dah time tuh..buat pulak kate hw tak siap laa..jawapan bukan betul aa..tak betul pon tak betul aa..bukan nak tiru..nak tengok camana ko buat jer..kalo salah pastu mamat yg pinjam tuh tau salah..bole jer mamat tuh tunjukkan mana salah..pastu kalo mamat tuh plak terangkan salah..ko betulkan aa terangkan balik..bukan susah pon..kalo ko dah reti buat senang aa nak terangkan..terangkan je aa apa yg ko buat..susah sangat ker? pastu last resort kalo tak bole gak baru aa tiru..tapi takde aa bulat2..macha..come on aa..sape kat sini tiru bodo2 bulat2? takde nyer..sume org penah kantoi aa..jgn pikir ko sorang jer penah kantoi..sume org bantu membantu aa antara satu sama lain..masyarakat melayu kat sini makin lama makin sikit doh..time2 camni aa kita kena bersatu lagi kuat..dulu2 korang nak buat klik korang sendiri bole aa..nih tinggal sekelumit jer melayu nak buat klik sendiri lagi? face the facts aa..aku tak hingin pon sebenornyer kalo ko tanak ajar ke..tanak bagi tunjuk hw ker..aku no hal jer beb..at least berterus terang ngan aku..why? why tak bole..kalo jawapan munasabah aku ok jer..nih bagi alasan bodo2..pastu tipu pulak tuh..aku bukan nak tuding sape2 kalo terasa tuh mungkin bukan ko mungkin ye tapi come on aa..member sama member beb..bersatu teguh bercerai roboh beb...ko terer camana pon takyah aa nak berlagak2 depan org..kalo ko tak terer jgn segan2 nak tanya org tuh jer...tapi kalo aku dah bertanya tapi ko buat bodo pentingkan diri sendiri ngan hati busuk ko tuh..aku takleh kate apa2 aa kan..hak ko aa hw ko and kalo ko bole aa hidup ngan pressure org lain pandang serong kat ko aku no hal jer beb..but trust me aa..ORG2 YG BERIMAN jer yg bole tahan benda2 camni..so basically..bullshit aa ko bole tahan kan benda2 camni..takyah aa nak tunjuk terer..org tak heran pon and aku tak kate pon aku beriman ok..aku pon tau aku byk buat dosa..so jgn berlagak beriman aa ok?

lastly..kepada org2 yg BERHATI BUSUK, PENTINGKAN DIRI SENDIRI, TALAM DUA MUKA, PEMBOHONG, KEDEKUT...jumpa korang kat neraka nanti ok?

abeh dah spring break..huwaaa!!!

penat giler..baru balik dari OSU nih..walopon tak main pon bola..penat gak aa..tak tau asal..hahaha..power aa bebudak nih main..dah ada teamwork gak aa skrang..takde aa cam dulu2 team yg aku selalu kutuk kat blog aku nih..hahaha..satu je aa kena tweak sket..kekadang senang hilang focus..tu jer aa kot..lain sumer dah mantap dah..aa lagi satu..perembat bola takde aa..org yg terer chip dah ramai dah..rembat takde..all in all congrats aa menang premidwest..semoga menang aa midwest sebenar nanti...silap2 kalo aku dah takde benda nak main sok..aku main bola jek..hahahaha...

tu aa..dah takde semangat siut org nak main volley..serius aa bole makan minnesota tuh...no hal nyer..train sket lagi ok aa kot..hoho..waaa..jom aa weih main volley ramai2..tahun nih jer aku rasa last bole bagi competetive sket..next year dah takde spiker dah..aku sorang jek terkonteng2...dah aa tak berapa terer spike..waaaa...jom aa..volley weih..dah gatal tangan nak main volley nih....waaaa...

apa lagi aa nak citer? haa..rupanyer dah lama aku tak berceloteh dalam blog aku nih..nak dekat seminggu lebey gak aa tak tulih apa2..spring break maa..blog pon kena break sat..har har har...besok dah ahad..hw bertimbun tak buat lagik..haiii..benda common bagi aku dah selama tiga tahun kat sini..hahaha..kena balik malaysia gak aa tahun nih..dah dekat setahun lebey dah nih tak balik..rasa pelik la plak..kena gak aa balik..jumpa nek amnah sumer..ziarah sumer sedara mara..duit lagi..adeh..kena mintak lagi..adeh..waaa..malunyer kena mintak duit..nak keje..stadi pon terkontang kanting nih..tak berani aku nak keje plak..don't think i can handle the burden..haii..menebalkan muka lagik aa nih..adeh..terpaksa gak aa..passport nak mati dah nih..kena balik gak nak renew passport..renew setahun cukup aa kot..kalo takot tetiba kena extend..renew dua tahun...hohoho..ok aa..dah lewat aa kot..cukup aa setakat nih jek..jom tido..and hopefully bermimpi yg indah2 jer..har har har..

huargghh...

ohayoo gozaimasu...baru bangun pagi..dikejutkan oleh dua org cleaner yg baik hati.."you got your hair cut"..."looks good on you" haha...bangun pagi jer dah dengar compliment..dan cam biasa ari nih cam malas nak gi klas apa2..gi jepon jer kot..ada motivation sket..nih terambik test nih la plak di kala pagi yg bosan nih...haru yasumi hajimemashita!!!...(spring break dah tiba!!!) hoho..keje aku spring break nih..lepak ngan member...main ddr....main need for speed most wanted yg menyakitkan hati..ngan main basket..har har har...aa..lupa plak result test tuh..sat noo..

Yellow

You're yellow, the color of joy and energy — two things you definitely bring to everyone around you. It's hard for anyone to be sad or lonely in your presence; your sunny disposition and cheery outlook just won't allow it. The warmth of your personality shines through in the kindness you show friends and family (and strangers, too). Always ready with a lighthearted joke or heartfelt compliment, you know how to make people feel good about themselves, so they can't get enough of you. Yellow is a warm and inviting color for a warm and inviting person — you!

bukan nak kate apa aa..mmg betul pon..hahahaha...walaupon ramai kate benda nih tipu jer..sebab ramai kate aku nih pendiam...hahaha...maybe benda nih true aa kot for people that are close to me je kot..yg selalu tak jumpa tu tak aa aku rasa..hehe

nak exam pon bleh tulih blog lagik..haih..

lagu Andy Williams yg di popularkan kembali oleh Muse..rancak sket aa..still best..

Can't Take My Eyes Off of You...

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you...

one sleepless night...

ok..first off..aku takleh tido la plak..dang..hw 314 mmg aku dah give up dah nih..lantak aa ko nak bagi berapa la macha kan? i've already given up all hope aa nak buat hw nih...

just looking forward to spring break aa..seriously..aku dah tak tahan dah ngan workload minggu nih..macam lecturers sume mmg ada misi utk memerah segala cecair yg ada dalam otak aku nih...waaabut actually, what to do aa biler spring break sampai? org lain sume ada destinasi..aku jek takdek..biasa aa..aku nih tergolong dalam kategori manusia paling pemalas kat dunia..huhu..sume benda aku malas..hahahaha..serius kena ubah sial perangai..arghhh..

adeh..lagi setahun jek nak grad dah..tu pon kalo bole grad..insya-Allah bole kot..hehe..takde motivasi aa..tu je masalah skang..dulu ada aa kot motivation sket nak stadi..a.k.a leteran seorang ibu yg penyayang..cewahhh..huhu..skang dah duduk kat US nih sape ler yg nak leter kat aku dah..takde pon..

kesimpulannya..hidup aku skang tunggang terbalik siot..ngaaa..camana nih?????

the good old days...

Tanda-tanda anda bayi tahun 80-an (pasti korang
tersenyum)

kita membesar dgn menonton G-Force, He-man,
Transformers, Thundercats, Silver Hawk, Woody
Woodpecker, Chipmunks and Mickey Mouse. Not
to forget Ninja Turtles, Mask, Smurfs dan Voltron.

berus gigi time waktu rehat kat skolah
rendah?...hmm, mesti pegang
cawan warna-warni kan. mencangkung kat tepi
parit dgn classmates semua kat seblah...

ingat tak, misi kat skolah masuk kelas dgn list
dentist appointment.
pastu bunyi gigi member kite kene gerudi kat bilik
sebelah. ada gigi yang berlubang, kene laa tampal.
ni sure korang igt...program minum susu di skolah.
nak galakkan budak2 time tuh minum susu.
sekotak 30 sen jek beb...

cikgu2 kalau nak denda, mesti guna pembaris
panjang warna kuning tu. pukul tapak tangan...kan?

semangkuk mi sup ke, mihun sup ke, 30 sen jek
kat kantin.

Hankyu Jaya, Yaohan - shopping complex yang
popular utk meluangkan masa dgn family. ni for
those yg dok KL laa

time skolah menengah, korang sure beli kasut
skolah Bata BM Turbo atau Pallas Jazz. ada yang
suka kasut high-cut yang buatan china tu... ada
yang suka stoking tebal laaa...

internet? email? mendalah ape tu? CD? ape tu?
kaset tape penah laa dgr. tiket wayang pun 5
inggit je.

kite pegi kedai runcit, beli Chickerdis, Mamee ,
Kum Kum, UFO, O-Ya,
Ding Dang chocolate balls yang ada mainan kat
dlm die, 'telur' keras warna warni, 'rokok' chewing
gum, KIKI Bubble Gum.

tak dilupakan, 'Ti Kam'. bile dah abih exam, main
Monopoly la, Donkey la, Happy Family laa dlm
class.

tapi bunyi loceng laa yang paling best skali. boleh
beli aiskrim ngan
apek kat luar skola tuh... lagi satu loceng masa
nak pegi rehat. tinggal kan keje skolah, jom kita
pegi makan. budak2 yg dpt Rancangan Makanan
Tambahan (RMT) mesti kluar awal.

lagi satu yang seronok mase time Pendidikan
Jasmani, PJ. main bola laa, rounders laa...
permainan kegemaran, main guli, batu seremban,
penutup botol, batang aiskrim, 'Pepsi Cola one-two-
three', 'Police & Sentry', kejar2 duduk...

kita hilangkan dahaga dgn aiskrim 10 sen. yang
tube aiskrim, ada byk2 color tu. kalau nak makan,
kene patahkan kat tengah2 die!

lipat kertas kecik2, pastuh buat lastik. hmmm..ni
pun kita main dulu
ni. baling2 kapur laa.

hmm...budak2 kat university skarang, kebanyakan
nye lahir thn 1987/88. skarang digelar 'remaja'.
bagi diorg, diorg mane penah dgr lagu 'We Are the
World, We Are the Children...' dan lagu 'Uptown
Girl' yang diorg tau, yg Westlife nyanyi....bkn Billy
Joel nyanyi...

bagi diorg, ada satu je Jerman kat dunia ni, dan
ade satu je
Vietnam.

AIDS wujud sejak diorg lahir.

CD pun wujud time diorg lahir.

Michael Jackson dah putih dah time tu.

Diorg percaya Spiderman dgn Incredible Hulk tu
filem2 baru.

Diorg tak bley bayangkan skrin hitam putih utk
sebuah komputer.

Diorg tak penah tau pun 'Atari' dgn 'Game &
Watch'.

Diorg tak percaya penah ada TV hitam putih...dan
diorg skarang tak reti nak switch on TV kalau xde
remote control. dan diorg tak paham macam mane
kite boleh survive dkt universiti tanpa handphone...

hmm...jom kite check, kite ni dah tua ke:

1. korg paham ape yang korang baca kat atas ni,
dan korg sure tersenyum

2. kebanyakan member2 skolah menengah kite
dah kawin

3. korg sure pelik bile nengok bdak2 kecik main
komputer, selamba je

4. kita geleng kepala bile nengok bdak2 skolah
menengah guna handphone

5. kita dah tak byk sembang2 dgn member melalui
telefon lagi setiap
hari

6. bile jumpe member lame dari semasa ke
semasa, seronok bile
bersembang pasal cerite2 lame, cerite2 kelakar
yang kite alami mase dulu time kecik2, nakal2
dulu.

7. last skali, bile dah bace email ni, korang akan
terpikir utk forwardkan dkt member2 lame korg.
Sure diorg suke punye laa...hehehe
Yaa, kite pun dah semakin tua!!
Teringat zaman2 dulu kan?

mmg betul pun..bile aku baca benda nih aku pon jadik nostalgic sekejap..huhu...best woo time dulu2..there were no worries langsung..sume pikir life nak hepi jer..skarang pon sama jugak..still nak life jadi hepi..tapi makin dah tua nih makin susah pulak nak jadikan hidup nih hepi..ye aa..biler dah makin dewasa, makin byk tanggungjawab..haii..

and shit..i'm this old already? adehhh..

sad day aa today..

ptg tadik..kembalilah seorg geng ke malaysia doh..adeh..takpe geng..ko takde kat sini pon kita akan buat cam ko ada kat sini..huhu..

one more thing...baru perasan bole tahan jugak telatah kak rod ngan kak ani tadik..pecah perut gelak hoho..had a good laugh aa today..haven't had a good laugh in a long time..

aa satu agi benda..aku kate nak stop tulih blog nih..pastu atas nasihat geng..dia suruh gak aku tulih..atleast sebulan skali..ok fine..aku tulih aa balik..for the sake of my fren aa kan..hoho..okeh..tu je kot malam nih..dah buntu dah otak..besok aku nak main basket..tak kira ari nih tak dapat main besok aku nak main gak..aku tak kira...ngaaaaaa...

sayonara blogger..

okeh..aku rasa dah tiba masa utk aku berenti tulih blog nih..bukan apa..dah tak tau nak tulih apa..pastu bile aku tengok balik..benda sama jek aku tulih..heh..tapi aku still maintain aa blog nih..kepada sesape yg berminat nak baca post2 yg lama2 ( aku ler yg baca sape lagi?)

there's nothing left for me to write about my life..because..

i don't know what to write anymore..

to all my friends...

thanks for everything..

goodbye..

and may God bless you all..

okeh sober dah..

Semoga berjaya kat Malaysia my friend..

adeh..penin kepala..dolah aa nih..hoho..anyway..weekend arituh kira last weekend aa dolah ada kat cleveland nih..so kira as a friend bior ler aku sambut weekend aku kat umah elyas ngan dia for the last time..hahahaha..cam gay la plak..takde aa..pasni dah tak jumpa sial dolah..nanti aku balik jumpa aa kot..melaka beb..jumpa nyer dolah no hal..best gak aa weekend..walaupon khamis ari tuh dapat tau citer sedey..dapat gak aa aku rasa hepi2 bersama member2 kat umah elyas n had tuh..lepas nih dah takde dah kot. so let's use our time to the fullest.

dang..lepas nih sape nak slow talk ngan aku? ahahahahaha...sedey sial member nak balik..takpe aa..janji ko sukses weih dolah biler ko balik malaysia. tunggu aku balik kita joli sama2 kat melaka tuh..walaupon aku tau kat melaka bukan happening sangat...takpe..kita lepak kedai makan farmas (ada lagi ker?) sampai kol 3- 4 pagi weih..hahaha..tunggu jer aku balik ogos nih..kita gegarkan bumi melaka..hahaha..

terasa seperti kehilangan seorang ayah lagi....have you ever felt the feeling of loosing 2 fathers? arghhh!!! sedih sangat nih...

innalillah...

today my grandfather died..not my grandfather aa...pangkat datuk jek..tapi umur standard mak aku je..the biggest shock today. aku dapat call dari kakak aku cam tak caya tok kassim dah meninggal. he's like my second father. he treated me like his own son. tak sempat aku nak jumpa dia. aku baru ingat nak jumpa dia bila aku balik lepas summer class nih.. aku anggap dia macam ayah aku sendir. tapi nak buat camana. allah lebih menyanyangi dia....Al-Fatihah

hari kekasih? buat apa? hoho

aa..aku dah penah sentuh dah benda nih setahun lepas..ari yg sama aa..tapi tuh aku tulih dalam english..so aku rasa tahun nih aku tulih melayu la plak..hoho..

apa kepentingan hari kekasih a.k.a Valentine's day nih? aku pon enggak menerti..beli bunga n chocolate aa..apa aa..nyanyi lagu aa..buat benda2 yg lovey dovey aa..ikut pandang Islam kita mmg diharamkan sambut Valentine's day nih..takyah aa ikut agama nyer viewpoint sebab aku pon bukan seorg yg kuat agama....ikut common sense cukup aa..

Kalo dah betul ko mmg mencintai 100% seorang perempuan..apsal ko sambut satu hari jer? the hell man? bukan apa aa an..kalo ko dah minat tuh...an..tunjuk aa minat ko tuh 365 hari dalam setahun..bukan ko treat kekasih ko satu hari pastu hari2 lain ko buat dek jek..jangan aa camtu..mana tak clash sana clash sini? an? apa? kalo ari2 buat nanti jadik boring? oo jadik ko bercinta utk penuhkan masa lapang ko je ke? haha..dasar manusia tak berhati perut aa tuh..org2 camtu bole diabaikan jek..jangan main2 beb ngan cinta..kalau cinta tu suci..tak kisah aa sambut ke tidak hari kekasih tuh..everyday will be a Valentine's day la macha "if" you really love her la kan? kalo utk isi masa lapang tuh...aku nasihatkan ko clash je aa ngan awek ko tuh..kesian kat awek ko satu..lain aa kalo minah tu pon tujuan dia couple ngan ko utk mengisi masa lapang jek..tu lantak ko aa..tu bukan bercinta nama dia..tuh frens with benefits..hahahaha..aku tak suka doh org main2 ngan cinta nih..serius aa weih..jgn confusekan cinta dengan boring a.k.a sangap..lain oo..

kesetiaan tuh penting beb..senang jer ko nak cakap ko nih setia..tapi dalam hati ko? cakap senang beb aku tau..ko nak set hati tuh utk setia susah..ok macha? sebelum buat apa2 pikir dulu beb...

aa..mesti ada nyer org baca benda nih kate...eleh mamat nih tau apa..bukan dia penah ada awek pon...hahaha..mmg aa tak penah beb...tapi kalo nak kate aku takde pengalaman benda2 camnih tak betul aa kan..tak penah rasa berawek..tak semestinya tak pernah merasai kenikmatan cinta...perghh..tapi mmg betul pon..dah2..pikir2kanlah..

adeh..sakit2..

baru abes baca manga ichigo 100%..walaupon manga nih cam tak senonoh sket..huhu..tapi ok gak aa citer dia..sedey gak aa mamat hero nih..ok gak aa org yg lukih nih buat citer..first time aku baca manga cintan2 nih..best la plak..at least mamat nih walaupon perangai dia lebey kurang aku jek..ada 5 org oo minat kat dia..satu jek aa aku blaja dari manga nih ( ada pengajaran manga2 nih sumer..bukan takde..) everything that happens to you has its purposes..ada hikmahnyer sumer..so kalo ada benda yg aku rasa tak patut terjadik kat aku nih..aku biar je aa..mana le tau..ada hikmah di sebaliknya...apa yg nak jadi..jadi aa..janji you did everything that you could..dalam masa aku bermastautin kat CASE nih..aku macam dah lupa..kita hanyalah manusia..manusia hanya boleh merancang..Allah yg menentukan semuanya..

jadi..biarlah "benda" yang sedang buat kepala aku nih cam nak meletup, terkubur dalam hati aku saje...kalau diizinkan Allah..selesai ler..kalau tak..hidup aku kena move on gak nanti..nak kate i'm giving up..tak aa kot..just that..really need some breathing room right now..i think i'm going to blow any minute...hehe..

arghhh...Nishino is so nice and cute!!

hmm..penat gile main basket semalam..3 straight games tu..campor ngan game bebudak nih semalam..teruih hilang shot aku..adeh..momon tak datang la plak semalam..hmm...ok aa kot..ada org belanja makan pacific for his b'day..rezeki jgn ditolak beb..haha..kalo ada org nak belanja aku aku nak gak gi..huhu..anyway..arinih bangun awal..tak tau apsal..semalam tido awal kot..dan bermulalah weekend bosan aku..chelsea kalah plak tadik..hahahaha...3-0 beb..dengan giant killer 'boro..serios aa..'boro nih kalo lawan team power jek mesti menang..kalo team sampah kalah plak..oh shit..i'm having a bleeding nose la plak right now..damn..apahal nih..tak cukup vitamin ke apa..lantak aa..sat agi ok aa kot..apa nak tulih dalam blog nih pon aku tak tau.. because...

there is nothing interesting in my life anymore..sume dah jadik rutin jek..gi klas balik tukaq baju main basket balik tido sat...gi south buat hw..tak pon nrv tak pon bilik amir..balik abes hw tido..pastu repeat..weekend plak..bosan2 tido aa balik takde aktivity menarik..ada pon tak dijemput..tak pon dah penuh tak pon...ala bob..poyo aa..org dah tanak ajak tuh bior ler..ko lepak ngan dolah jek..best woo lepak ngan dolah..

haii..ntah aa..camana nak jadikan hidup aku interesting pon aku tak tau..cam takde org nak tolong jek jadikan life akku interesting..sume sibuk ngan life diorg..diorg nak interesting life gak..but at least life diorg ada gak aa org tulun2 bagi interesting..aku punya life..sape la yg sudi..ntah aa..aku ada buat salah ke dalam hidup aku yg tak bole dimaafkan..tak tau aa..takpelah..teruskanlah kehidupan dengan hati yg tabah..

( terasa cam Amy dalam citer Rock time baru lepas menang Battle of the Bands peringkat negeri) ~ terpinggir..


~ from the minds of さびしい人。。。。

kisah cinta yg tak kesampaian( Eva Natasha )

Febians - Eva Natasha

eva natasha gadis yang kupuja
kau bagai bintang kejora mempersona
pertama kali tersua denganmu
kau hanya tunduk membisu
rambut terurai ke bahu ku terpaku

telah kucuba untuk menghampiri
tak terdaya diri ini tak mengerti
akhirnya engkau berlalu di situ
hanya memandang pada ku
kau hilang bagai angin bayu

termangulah aku
terkenang peristiwa itu
menyelubungi jiwa yang tak menentu
gelora tanpa restu

tanpa diduga kau muncul semula
secara tiba tiba
dengan bingkisan digenggamanmu
kau hulur kepada ku
tanpa ucapan yang kuharapkan
hanya bingkisan

mengertilah aku kandungan bingkisan itu
yang menyatakan dirimu telah berpunya
terkubur semuanya
apakan daya ku insan biasa
takdir penentu segala
akan kucuba menghadapinya
walau ribut melanda
yang pasti kini aku sendiri
dan sendiri lagi

eva natasha oh indah namamu
cintamu bukan untukku
semoga kau berbahagia
doa ku untukkmu sentiasa

argghhh!!! sedey giler lagu nih..arghhh!! sedey..sedey..

practice till i drop..not dead i hope..heh

today..nuthin much happened..as usual. just thought that i need to exercise more..beginning to feel a little bit weak every now and then..so i thought that i could use some basketball 3 times a week..heh.. monday wednesday friday.. 3p.m until..i dunno probably until 5..maybe later..my shooting stroke is getting hell of a lot better...tried to shoot by looking away from the basket and it went in 5 times out of ten!! how great is that? still can't shoot after the dribble though..still working on that..heh..maybe this wednesday i could give it a try..and i still can't layup on my weak side!! arghhh!! hate that weak side..everyone wanted me to be the man in the middle..but dang..i'm not that big..i thought of myself as a spot up jump shooter for now..maybe i could expand that to a guy who could shoot and drive in..heh..but that's gonna need a lot of work..well..this wednesday is just nice for a round of basketball practice now isn't it?

~from the minds of　 さびしい人。。。　

life..heh

adehh..what have i've been doing with my life? been asking that question for awhile now and i can't seem to come up with a decent answer. well, i could break it up what i've been doing up until now but, i can't find anything that i've done for the past 21 years to be fulfilling. maybe i've never been congratulated for anything in my life. that's why i'm feeling like " who cares? no one cares.." well, i was raised in a busy family so..

well, enough about the past. where were we? aa yes...didn't do much today...eventhough i had only two classes i slept through the second class..well..i didn't sleep but i wasn't paying attention so that's the same thing. i cooked a decent meal for the first time today. the chicken was fried right, the paste was perfect but the rice had to be soggy..oh well..at least i made a nice dish..

thinking of playing some basketball after japanese tomorrow..have to walk about 1 mile to reach veale but i think it's worth it..i can't be playing basketball once a week..at least twice..now that's commitment..

alas..i finally don't have anything to write because my mind has become blurry..because i'm sleepy..it's 2 in the morning and i need to get up at 830 tomorrow..sigh..well..signing off for now then...

~ I just need someone to hear me....

~from the minds of　 さびしい人。。。　

letak gambo anak buah sat..

"err..burung nih makan org tak?"

uikk..asal tetiba gambo sasha elite nih?..kuikuikui..ngaaa..aku baru bangun tido dalam gambo nih..don't say anything..

gambo anak buah aku tengah main2 aku nyer laptop..aku bagi jek..walaupon laptop baru..huhu..tak kisah pon..(ada org terasa akk nih? :p)

nih gambo anak buah aku tengah main hp mak dia..pastu kena marah..pastu mengadu ngan aku.."ayah cuuu.."..hurhurhur..

adeh la..penin penin..

ngaa..tetiba kepala aku penin malam tadik..apasal ntah..nak update malam tadik sebenornyer..tapi disebabkan kepala buat hal tak dapat le mengupdate blog yg sudah lama tak diupdate nih..

ari nih dengan berjayanyer aku memonteng klas pertama aku semester nih. adeh. takpe2.. bole baca buku jek econ bole score..ngahahaha. bak kate feezul aa..adeh..tu sebab aku malas amik klals pagi kol 930..tapi dah terpaksa amik..isk3.amik je la kot..rabu nih bole aa kot bangun awal.hohoho. semalam aku dengan malasnya bukak ym aku..aa? sebab apa malas? ada aa sebab dia..aa? nak tau jugak? sebab aku tak suka ym aku suka msn lagi best..ngahahaha..pastu tetiba akak ct online..hoho.. lama tak borak ngan dia.. borak aa ngan dia kejap malam tadik..tak borak lama aa sebab semalam bz buat hw..tegur kejap jek..lama sangat tak chatting ngan dia..pastu siapkan hw..isap rokok sebatang..dengan tetiba kepala aku pusing..ngaaaaa..bangun2 jek zarip kejutkan aku..dia kata oii, takde klas pagi ke ko nih..bukan ada klas pagi ker..dengan gelabah aku tengok jam dah kol 930..tarik nafas panjang sket.."adeh..ponteng jugak gayanyer klas econ nih"..dan dengan selamba nyer aku tido balik..muahahahahaha. nasib baik sempat bangun gi klas 304..kuikuikui..

ptg tadik gi umah elyas..tensen tul aa umah tu..sume makan katok!! waa..aku nak paumakan pon susah..pau air best je aa aku kat umah tu..lepak2 sat..pastu balik..la ni yg tulih blog nih..kesian..eh2..sekian..terima kasih..huhuhu

P.S: blog ni di tulih atas permintaan ramai..(hohoho..cam popular la plak..) tu yg nampak cam bosan..tengah takde peristiwa ngan idea best aa..nanti biler aku betui2 bosan aku tulih citer best2..hohoho..tapi sume peristiwa di atas adalah benar2 terjadi ke atas Ilham Junaidi Ismail..bukan cobaan semata2..hohoho

~from the minids of さびしい人。。。

copy paste sat noo..

allo eberibodi..i'm at the bottom of the pit when it comes to my self esteem right now..well..figures. tomorrow is the beginning of the new semester..sigh. well been a long time since i post something..don't want my blog to be a boring thing to read right? so i got this thing from dolah's frenster blog..saje nak buat statement kot. but i think it's a true statement. pretty long statement though. dolah pon amik dari mana ntah.. let's take a look and ponder about it awhile...ok?



This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

By Karl -collegehumor

Disclaimer -Muslims are not allowed to drink beer and shit, and have sex outside marriage hehehe....so some of this ode are not applicable to most of you guys. Besides, does this shit really happened to us Asians?? But saying that "the nice guy finish last", is at LEAST true. You play by the rules, you lose. Period.


finished? that should take about 5 minutes right? hehe..okeh..really don't know what to write anymore..calos

~nuff said~