oh beautiful angel, will you be mine?

hrmmm. Haven't updated this blog in quite some time. Been back in Malaysia since June 20th. That's, let's see, 2 month's and 7 days i've been back home and i'm still jobless. Yes, jobless. It's not that bad actually. got to go around messing about. Hearing about troubles in the workplace from guys who has already found work. But, alas, still need to find a job. not that i'm not trying. just that i ahven't been called for an interview yet. Well, Intel called for an interview and i didn't know how was the result. all i can say for now is just to keep my fingers crossed. hehe.


Went back to Malacca last weekend. Seems that mom got the wedding dates wrong so we went back to Malacca for nothing. Well, i wouldn't say nothing. Had the opportunity to meet some old friends. Haven't met them in a while. Shocked at how much they have 'grown'. well, there nothing much for me to talk about right now. Just enjoying the freedom as long as it lasts.

bodo sombong shialll....

jangan aa jadi bodo sombong..tensen doh...aku bukan nyer nak kutuk ko tak reti main..nak bagi opinion je..tak boleh ke? nak ikut ko je betul? tak dapat aa beb...aku bukan apa aa..kalo dah cara ko main pon mamat tuh siap boleh buat gelak2, buat lawak2 sume ngan member dia, nak kate apa kan..aku nak bagi pendapat je doh camana ko men..tengok sekeliling aa...nak kate aku terer, tak jugak..tapi aku bagi pendapat aa rasa2 ko salah kat mana...kalo mamat tuh lompat tinggi takyah aa men lompat ngan dia..jangan men gelabah sangat...nak fake2 tu berpada2 dah ler..gerak le pivot foot...pass ler kat org len kalo dah takleh sangat...benda2 tu je aku nak cakap..yg ko pegi hangin sangat watpe? bukan aku nak tunjuk terer pon...nak tunjuk terer on the court aa...brag2 nih tak men aa...poyo jer...serios aa aku nak tolong member doh..kalo member dah kena gelak2 ngan org, aku sah2 aa nak tolong...takkan aku nak buat bodo je kalo member kena gelak ngan mat saleh...n cara aku nak tolong nak bagi ler pendapat camana ko patut men..bagi pendapat je..bukan suruh ko ikut..yg ko hangin sangat apasal? kalo ko still nak men camana ko men tadi men aa...kisah apa pon aku...aku dah try bagi pandangan..ko tanak pandangan aku nak buat camana...

macam ko aa...ada sorang dalam team ko bodo men bola...tapi terpaksa gak ada dalam team ko nak cukupkan org...sah2 aa ko bagi dia tips2 sket nak defend camana, tendang bola kat sape sume benda tu aa kan? camtu aa aku nak buat kat ko..bagi tips2 sket walopon aku tak terer sangat..tapi tu aa..jangan bodo sombong...tensen doh ngan org jenis camni...

2 more months

yes ppl, 2 more months and I'm leaving Cleveland. As of late, I'm kinda getting some mixed feelings about leaving. a part of me is relieved that there will be no more classes in the ungodly hour of 8.00 a.m. A part of me will miss this place even though it is not a great place to be in but i'm still gonna miss all the things that i did here.


Like a speeding bullet 4 years have passed since i first arrived here in Cleveland. Friends were made, hearts were broken, assignments were handed in late, last minute Japanese oral presentation was surprisingly a success, international dinner performances were great sometimes not that great, some presentations were complete disasters but in the end, all of them was experience that i gained here in Case Western Reserve University.

yep, gonna miss this place alright. But I'll never forget it. Ever.


四年前の経験を忘れない。ありがとうクリーブラン。

wakarimahen ne...

ohisashiburi minna -san...


aku baru je abes baca comment sorang minah kat friendster nih pasal pandangan pemimpin negara kite...katenyer dia terkejut dengan ucapannye and kate mamat tu tak tau malu aa apa aa...cik kak...i don't care about your views..if you want to say a leader of a country is no good don't say it on a site like friendster...say it in a public blog like this one or the easiest way..keep it to yourself...and you say it yourself you don't know politics...so don't...keep it to yourself...nak share view ko pon takyah aa melalut dalam frenster...frenster bukan org malaysia je pakai...n aku tau foreign people don't speak malay..tapi kalo ada yg tau..tak ke bagi pandangan yg buruk je kat pemimpin negara n secara tak langsung negara kite..frienster is a place to know people..not to bash people..kalo nak bash people buat forum sendiri...at least don't put it on the bulletin board aa..antar msg sudah..nak kate ko sokong je mamat yg tak sokong pemimpin negara tu...apsal ko nak heboh satu frenster letak kat buletin board? antar msg sudah aa..bosan tul aa...ko nak share cite hantu ke..fact yg ko baru tau ke...adeh..benda2 camni aa yg aku jadi malas nak bukak frenster skarang ko tau akk?

why do young people today think they know politics and religion so well? diri sendiri pon tak terurus, nak kate org lain tak malu...setakat pakai tudung jer tapi pakai baju ketat buat apa beb...aku bukan kate aku alim or banyak ilmu..tapi tengok diri sendiri dulu aa iman n knowledge jauh mana baru bole kate org islam lain tak malu...

hmm..puas hati...tengah bosan tak tau nak buat apa...bukan apa..tensen je ngan minah ni...org melaka plak tu..adeh..anyway...cleveland tengah cuaca pelik so aku pon ikut cuaca jadi pelik..besok last day cuti before class stat..so..adehh...tensen nyer...no worries...another 2 months and you'll get your degree..hopefully...fingers crossed..

letting off some steam...

i don't know what came over me to write this blog today. i don't really know. got a call from my mom this evening. she was letting off some steam because my brothers did a good job of not making her happy. now i have to be lectured not to be like them and love her and cherish her like the "perfect" son that she wants me to be. the thing is i know that i am not perfect and i just hate it when someone asks me to be. moreover she is my mom. then i have to listen to her for half an hour about how her sons and daughters doesn't love her anymore and i know that that is far from the truth. we do love her. my brothers and sisters really do love her. but with the hectic lifestyle that we siblings have because my siblings are successful thanks to mom's lecturing us every other day, they will tend to forget occasionally to have a nice chat with her. and here i am being her son and lending an ear to all her problems when i have problems of my own. sometimes i just crack under pressure and just stare blankly to the ceiling doing nothing. i just don't know what to do. she is the world to me. but i really don't know what to say to her when she asks me what to do. how am i supposed to say to a woman who had struggled alone to raise 5..well..not 5 yet..4..4 successful human beings and succeeded, how to deal with her problems? furthermore, when i try to give suggestions, it backfires and i get a heavy lecture on how to make a good opinion and when i don't give one, i am given a lecture on how i should have a stand. it's driving me nuts. i don't know what to say anymore, i don't know what to do anymore, and i don't know how to handle this but i have to. they are my family and their problems are my problems. i want to help but sometimes i just feel that my opinions are not that important to them because i have not tasted the bitterness of the "real world" yet.

and seriously, sometimes i just want to forget about everything and give a nice, long top of my lungs scream. you know to let off some steam. but hey, i am in a residential hall so i can't scream on top of my lungs because it could make others in the residential hall uncomfortable. that is why i am writing this blog. to let off some steam. not much...but it helps....sometimes..

Hepi Valentine's Day...again...

well, to all you couples out there...Happy Valentine's day!! Every year couples will get busy today with going to fancy restaurants having dinner, chocolate and flower giving and all the lovely things that couples do on valentine's day. don't get the wrong impression about what i'm going to write here couples. I'm not saying that it's bad to do all the things that you do on valentine's day and i'm not someone that hates valentine's day. But, really, was it worth it? I know, this is the only day that you guys can be romantic and see other couples go around with the girl wrapping her arms around her man and the guy trying not to get an e*^&*%^n (just kidding guys). And after all is said and done on February the 14th. the girls will get into a group of girlfrens and boast about how their man was a romantic guy on valentine's day. chatting about how her boyfren got her the loveliest present that a girl could ever wanted and how romantic the poem that he read to her under the moonlight and all the lovely stuff. and the girlfrens will say..awww, that's so sweet or awww, you are such a lucky girl...my boyfriend would never do that for me.
you want to know what the guys will chat about on february the 15th after valentine's day is finished? they'll probably compare how much they spent on valentine's day for their girlfrens and make jokes about the guy who spends the most. "how much? dude, that's not right" or "dude you could buy a plasma with that kind of money man!!" or "dinner at a fancy restaurant? hell, just cook it yourself. they'll think it's romantic"...or "i just downloaded the poem from the internet. works like a charm.." Most guys and i'm saying MOST ladies not ALL..don't get psycho on me for this one...thinks valentine's day as a day of sacrifice...football game?...no...if you know what's good for you, you'll tivo it...blizzard? better have your warmest coat ready cause your eating out in this ungodly weather...you forgot? hell no, don't ever say that...you are better off saying your long lost father called and he just had that day to spend time with you...ladies are crazy for valentine's day....the least you have to do on that day is give your girl heart shaped box full of chocolates...that's the LEAST you could do...if you could do more...good..then your giving your girlfriend something to make her friends jealous at your relationship and will make another guy's life miserable for a whole year until next valentine's day when he tries to outclass you...
hmm..maybe i do hate valentine's day...all the cuddling and love spreading around just gives me goosebumps...but, honestly...i don't know the feeling of what you guys see in valentine's day and why is it special....maybe it's because i'm single..who knows...but really...I don't see it...what else do you want to prove? you love the girl, she loves you back and boom that's that..does valentine's day proves anything? personally, i think valentine's day is great when you want to tell someone that you like him/her...then you'll have your anniversary with valentine's day on the same day...yayy!! save a little bit of pocket money...better yet..find a girl whose birthday is on february the 14th and confess to her on her birthday and valentine's day...bamm!! 3 in 1!! imagine how much money you'll save...hahaha...

woww...this post really looks like i hate valentine's day...hahaha...just joking guys...you guys do what you think is best...and for some girls out there appreciate what the guys are doing for you...i've seen some girls that are not appreciative to the things that their boyfriends do for them...and it breaks my heart seeing guys going through that...makes me want to be single for a long time...hell, who am i kidding...with this declining hair line (runs in the family), i think i'll be single until i make a lot of money which I don't know when or how...

well, to all couples out there hepi valentine's day...and remember..don't show your love only on valentine's day...show it all year round...and to the singles out there..keep searching guys...you'll bound to meet that special someone someday...and girls..there's a single 23 year old guy with a declining hairline looking for his soulmate...hahahaha...peace..

colts win!!

tak sokong colts pon sebenornyer, diorg dah menang sokong ler jugak last2...team aku sokong sumer dah kalah dah..dammit..anyway..aku dah agak dah semester nih tahap production aku menurun sebab amik sket class..nih tensen nih..time amik byk class...melampau plak berat dia..tapi ok jer...time amik sikit class mmg tak byk keje pon tapi bapak malas and tak productive nyer aku...adeh camana nih...kena productive weih..last semester of your university life man..dah aa senior project pon semester nih..kamon2..bole2..adeh...camana la bole jadi camni...kena rajin sket nih..bukan sket..kena rajin byk nih...haii...tengok ler camana kengkawan...harapan aku tengah tinggi nih nak 4 flat semester nih..ntah ler..aku tak penah pon 4 flat..paling power pon 3.50..tu pon first semester jek..har har har...takpe2..bole2..when there is a will there is a way...tapi cam lemah jer will skarang nih..arghhh

aduhai..mengapa begini?

Di petik dari Utusan Melaysia bertarikh 29 januari 2007....

Trauma seorang guru wanita yang berdedikasi

Oleh Alias Ismail

KUALA BERANG 28 Jan. – Kesatuan Perkhidmatan Perguruan Kebangsaan (KPPK) hari ini mendedahkan trauma seorang guru wanita yang mengajar penuh dedikasi di sebuah sekolah di Selangor.

‘‘Guru itu disaman oleh ibu bapa seorang murid yang didendanya kerana gagal menyiapkan tugasan sekolah,’’ kata Setiausaha Agung KPPK, Lok Yim Pheng kepada Utusan Malaysia, di sini.

Guru itu terpaksa naik-turun mahkamah selama dua tahun dan digantung tugas serta gaji selama kira-kira setahun setengah.

‘‘Masyarakat keliling mencemuh dan melabel guru itu dengan gelaran kurang enak hingga dia malu keluar dari rumah. Siapa yang ambil tahu semua itu dan mahu membelanya?,” ujarnya.

Beliau memberitahu, guru itu akhirnya menang dalam perbicaraan dua minggu lepas dengan kos RM60,000 yang ditanggung oleh KPPK kerana beliau merupakan ahli kesatuan.

Sementara itu, Presiden KPPK, Ismail Nihat ketika dihubungi berkata, guru terbabit akan mendapat semula gaji yang digantung sepanjang perbicaraan itu selepas ini.

Yim Pheng berkata, guru kena berhati-hati dalam melaksanakan kerja dan jangan menganggap apabila berniat baik saja maka mereka terlepas daripada tindakan saman ibu bapa pelajar.

“Guru perlu jaga kebajikan dan kerja ikut peraturan. Jika ada masalah, bincang dengan majikan dan jika ahli KPPK, segera berurusan dengan kami,” ujarnya.

Kata beliau, walaupun guru tersebut berniat baik, namun apabila disaman oleh keluarga pelajar, proses pembelaan menjadi panjang dan berliku.

Berdasarkan pemerhatian kesatuan itu, trend berkenaan kian meningkat sejak beberapa tahun kebelakangan ini.

Saman

Menurut beliau, guru sekarang setiap hari terdedah kepada saman kerana kebanyakan ibu bapa tidak melihat sekolah sebagai institusi yang membentuk akhlak dan kelakuan pelajar sebaliknya lebih terarah kepada pencapaian akademik semata-mata.

‘‘Guru kena ingat mereka terdedah kepada saman ibu bapa, sebab itu sekarang guru tidak boleh menyuruh pelajar mencuci tandas atau mengutip sampah kerana dikhuatiri tindakan itu mengundang rasa tidak senang di kalangan ibu bapa.

‘‘Walaupun tindakan guru itu murni, namun ia terdedah kepada saman terutama bagi mereka yang mengajar di kawasan bandar,” katanya Yim Pheng.

Apa nak jadi ngan masyarakat kat malaysia pon aku tak tau...anak kena denda ngan cikgu pon nak saman cikgu...kalo cikgu tu pukul anak ko sampai berdarah mmg aa patut pon kena saman..tapi kalo setakat denda buat lagi byk homework ke..kena sebat rotan skali dua...kena berdiri sampai abes klas..all that is nothing man. tapi mmg kesian betul cikgu nih..susah nak carik cikgu yg betul2 ambik perhatian kat anak murid dia skang...bile ada jer cikgu camtu..mak bapak gi saman..mana tak mat rempit berduyun2 kat malaysia skang nih? "mak nak duit beli motor"...ko bagi duit beli moto..."ayah nak duit beli tu..ayah nak duit beli ni"..korang bagi...damn man...aku bongsu pon tak manja camtu..parents nowadays selalu manjakan anak..aku tau aa..you want to give your children thing that you could not afford when you were little..but damn man..that's just a little bit much don't you think? cikgu nak cubit sikit pon tak boleh...that's too overprotective...kalo aku kena cubit ngan cikgu ke denda ke apa..takde keje aku nak bagi tau mak aku..lagi teruk aku kena ada..."aa? kena cubit ngan cikgu..asal cubit jer? asal tak kena libas ngan rotan jer? uish..kena call cikgu tu nak tanya asal tak rotan..speaking of rotan..mari sini mak substitute cikgu tu.." that would be my mother if i was scolded or kena denda ngan cikgu...maybe some of you will say..uish ganas nyer mak mamat nih..ye..mmg ganas...tapi ganas tu ler kasih sayang yg membolehkan aku sampai ke menara gading kat US nih..kalo mak aku cam mak bapak budak dalam surat khabar nih..dah lama aku keje sapu sampah(no offense)...balik pada cikgu tu..mana ada org skang nak jadik cikgu dah? sebab benda2 camni ler..sentuh sket anak ko.."see you in court" terus kena...sentuh sket pon takleh ke? camtu aku pon tanak jadi cikgu...parents made the profession a hard profession...dulu kalau tanya cikgu2 yg dah bersara skarang...kenapa jadi cikgu...diorang mesti jawab..nak mendidik anak nusa dan bangsa..skang tanya cikgu yg muda2 nih.."kantoi exam aa..terpaksa"..."ala..ajar bebudak je pon..senang jer"..apa shit? teachers in the old days were always respected..even when their students dah keje pon they still respect their teachers..walopon dulu mmg ko anak murid paling setan dalam klas..ko still respek cikgu ko..tapi skang..adoii..there are no words aa to describe...mmg ramai jer guru skang..tapi quality..adeh..quantiti jer..quality takde...kalo bole..aku bole jadik cikgu..sebab..aku rasa terkilan kat masyarakat malaysia skang..but with my short temper..and all the stupid parents that pampers their stupid children..kang ada aku naik turun court jer cam cikgu kat dalam surat khabar nih....but i salute this teacher..she has the guts to punish her students when they did something wrong when she knew (maybe she didn't..who knows..) that she is going to be scolded and rediculed by the student's parents and society. she is just doing her job..to educate our future leaders..now who wants future leaders who can't stand up for themselves and always go to others for solutions to simple problems? think about it...

not in my range of understanding...

what is up with senior projects in CASE? especially for malay students? firstly, i just want to say seriously that i don't know anything about what is going on around here...first i'm on this team..and then i'm on a whole new team..but wait...isn't that guy on another team..what?? not in the same team anymore? i don't know man...i think there was one night where i smoked the joint and all of this teaming up thing goes haywire you know..just don't know what is real anymore...i know that there are some specific individuals that some people want to be in their team...i really don't care about that because i..really don't care honestly but..when there are some changes or anything...inform everyone pls...and i mean EVERYONE...i really feel bad about feezul..but..i can't do anything about it because i misunderstood the situation...well, i am human mind you..now i'm really feel fucking guilty about what happened...but the past is the past..and i hope that we still are friends...damn...senior projects...fuck..i really don't give a damn anymore...i just want to graduate and rid of myself of these things and go find a job or go do my masters or anything else...i really blame our seniors for the lifestyle that my class of 2007 is living right now..."have fun now, study later" is their motto...well, i didn't hear it from them but i got the feeling that is the message that they conveyed to us...well just look at us now..3 of us has gone back home without a degree..that sucks...wasted 2 years here in US and going home starting all over again from scratch...and..don't bullshit saying that those two years were not wasted because you made "friends"....with all the backstabbing stories i've heard i'm starting to doubt that..i don't care if you are going to make someone's life miserable, but please make sure you are not going to see them in a long time after that..because it creates pressure and i hate pressure...don't get me wrong...i can handle pressure but i just hate it...which bring us back to the senior projects thingy above..oh, please let there be no more conflicts after this..please...

WTF Moment...

ok. skang nih mmg aku tengah hangin aa. tak kisah aa sape2 yg terasa nih. story dia camni...

niat di hati nak main volley aa kan. ajak ler sumer org turun main volley. kate nyer kol 4 main. ok aa. pastu yg turun nyer 6 org jer..pastu men la digging2 sket tunggu org2 lain yg semestinyer takyah cakap lambat..lepas diaorg sampai..dapat ler main volley kejap. pastu ada sorang nih nak semayang..ok ler gi le semayang...yg jahat2 sume yg tak semayang main ler basket sekejap. pastu bile dah abes semayang..."aku nak balik aa" kate mamat yg baru abes bersemayang itu. aku pon kate "wtf". kira tu aa wtf moment kiranyer...pastu tetiba macam pengikut mengikut ketua "aku pon nak balik gak aa"...pastu tinggallah mamat2 yg datang lambat terpinga2 tak mengeluarkan peluh pon men volley tadik tetiba kena balik..and that is my friends...my WTF Moment....

meh aku explain...tak kesian ke kat mamat2 yg datang lambat tuh? main dalam berapa serve jer. tak berpeluh pon. tetiba ko nak balik..come on aa..tau aa ko hangin diorg datang lambat..pastu lepas ko abes semayang nak sambung men diorg tengah men basket....tapi...asal kena balik? at least bagi ler tau reason dia sket asal nak balik...nih cakap aku nak balik aa..pastu storm out camtu jer tak sempat org nak tanya apsal..cam budak kecik merajuk..apa shit? ye aa diorg gi marshall...tp at least diorg sanggup doh datang veale lepas diorg balik dari marshall...kalo aku dah lama aku letak barang tido kat bilik jer..tp diorg sanggup datang doh..ko pulak dengan nada merajuk nak balik..why? come on aa...benda kecik jer..kalo marah pasal kitaorg men basket pon time tuh...sound je aa..."weh jom sambung men volley balik" apa salah nyer? bukan nyer org nak pukul ko pon kalo ko cakap camtu..mmg tujuan nak men volley pon..small matters aa weih...sumer nih benda kecik jer..tu pon nak emo ka? dulu aku ajak men volley..sorang pon tak datang...takde pon nak merajuk tak tentu arah...org datang lambat..sebelum diorg sampai aku marah aa..tapip lepas diorg sampai..main volley tetap men volley...apa masalah nyer? come on aa..you are a university graduate. bukan undergrad dah..dah graduate dah pon..apsal nak tunjuk perangai budak kecik tu lagi? think about others first aa...kalo pasal pelajaran ke keje ke lantak ko aa nak think about yourself...tapi nih benda kecik doh..member datang lambat..small matter...men basket sekejap sementara org sume semayang..small matter..pikir aa..org len sanggup datang gak..dah tau lambat..tp diorg datang gak..ko selalu lambat takde pon org lain nak merajuk...adeh..the thing is..pemikiran camni tak sepatutnyer ada pada seorang graduate universiti siot..graduate luar negara lak tuh...patut you are better than this...merajuk tak tentu arah plak..benda tak betul sket jer.."weih aku nak balik aa"...tak betul sket jer.."weih aku malas aa nak main"...tak betul sket jer..."aa takpe aa bior aa aku malas"..wtf? bile ko lambat plak..pandai aa mintak maaf plak kat org sumer...tu ke yg ko nak? apology for being late? bukan ko pon yg mengajak men volley..taufiq masalahnyer yg ajak..mamat tuh pon men skejap jer..(antara org yg lambat aa)....haii...grow up aaa..grow up...benda kecik camni pon bole merajuk sampai camtu....rentikan ler...masalah dunia sebenar lagi besar dari tu...