huarrgggghh...

just woke up...i just slept for 4 hours..now that's a record...haven't slept that little since hamzah came and chatted with me in my room...oh well..

going to minnie today..hope it would be a blast!!...

damn...

finally got the clock working right..heh..just need to adjust some things....anyway..

can't sleep today...don't know why..maybe the girl's whisper were too loud..i don't know...really in a bad mood..saying stuff that i hated to hear..what the hell..well...life goes on doesn't it?...i hate when people judge me and they turned out to be wrong...don't they know its just stupid to judge people...it's ok if you're good at judging people...but to just blurt out and say someone is selfish when they don't know the guy is just pretty damn stupid..i'm not selfish...i'm just quiet...i'll listen if you talk to me..besides, i don't have to talk when there's nothing to talk about..i don't know..maybe i am selfish..but i don't think so..well...let them say what they want..they don't know me..i'm just a foreigner here..no one here understands me...sigh..i wish i have frens that could really understand my feelings...like in the old days at high school..man, those were the days...well, can't dwell on the past now can i?..just have to look forward to my future..and i don't think that it's a pleasant one...

still...i really miss those days...sigh

a roadtrip we will go...

well..it's already 1 in the morning...don't know why the time of the blogger is all messed up..looks like i have to write what time i'm writing my blog..well...anyway..

tomorrow will be the starting point of my journey to minnesota ( if that is the correct spelling :p)...i'm really anxious about this trip..having a couple of tournaments there...basketball and volleyball for me and other sports for the rest of the university..i don't even know if i have the strength to play both..well..we just have to see now won't we? i guess it would be a pleasant trip..because the car i'm in is officially the smoking car( yeah baby!!)...

heh..just sent a msg to a girl that i have a crush on..don't think that she likes me though...it was getting along well when suddenly i found out there are 2 other casanovas who want her...well..it has given her a little pressure..so the right thing for a gentleman like me to do is just back off and give her some room to breath...i don't buy the 'best man win' crap..it's just not right to treat a girl you like as a trophy...i just want her to be happy and i don't care if she likes someone else...as long as she's happy, then i'm happy...sigh...a load of bullshit don't you think? all of my frens say that i'm a coward becase i backed off...but i don't see it that way...she's human too...so she has the right to choose..if she thinks i'm not mr right than it's fine by me...hell..she could choose my sworn enemy if she thinks he's mr right..sigh...

well..better get some rest..it's going to be a loooooong journey tomorrow...cleveland to minnesota..damn..

but then again...i wished she picked me...sigh...

oro?

it's already 9 p.m now...just finished playing basketball..nuthin to do right now..that's why i'm writing this...i'm starting to like writing this blogger thingy...heh

i thought that i could release some tension after playing a good round of basketball..but there will always be something that makes my head boil..i came back from basketball and realize that i'm missing two cigarettes..shit..i hate when someone took my things and didn't tell me..it just pisses me off..it's ok if he took just one...but 2....2!!..well..can't go all angry about it...i just hate that guy..wanna know who?..well..just a guy who i hate the most here in my community...heh...he's the biggest hypocrite that i had ever met...he always do things that could benefit him...and doesn't care about other people..enough about him though...don't want to spoil this blogger with his filth...i hate myself for being to kind to people..especially this guy..oh well..what can i say..it's just me..

shit...

damn...almost forgot that today's my brother's birthday..oh well, guess i have to call him later today to wish em. ahh..feeling fresh after taking a bath..i guess how are the others doing?..all of them are still asleep i guess...lucky bastards...they are so carefree...not like me who is such a worrier....well..what can i say..i got it from my mother...always want something to be as perfect as possible...when you already know that nothing in this world is perfect...well..better wake them up....it's not healthy to sleep all day..yeah..like i'm no different...

hehe..my first blog..

well...just found out about this blogger thingy from reading a posting from my friend...could be interesting writing things just for the fun of it. well, i don't want to think of this blog spot as my diary. i already have a diary. it has tons of secrets that i don't want to write here. i just think of this blog as....hmmm...a place where i could just blurt out things that are not too personal. well, here goes...

today i woke up a wee bit early than usual...don't know why but i think the loud music on the computer has something to do with it. my fren feezul was chatting with his friends. not much of a scare there...funny thing is i can't go back to sleep..so i surfed the internet when he was finished with his conversations...i found something that bothered me...this blog thing...it was my fren's...i learned that she had hidden so many things from her frens...not awful things of course...she is hiding her own problems when she is known as a problem solver and the cheerful one among her frens...i really wanted to do something for her..she has all this problems and she's still smiling over it...she's strong..really strong at heart..but sometimes even the strongest at heart can't go through the day alone..that's what frens are for...she really needs someone to talk to...she had someone...our senior here...but he already graduated...so i really feel sorry for her..well..all i can say is that i will be there for my frens if they need my help....i feel terrible when i read her blogger...it feels like i've been the worst fren ever..not knowing about your frens trouble and try to help..i just feel awful...but it is her choice...if she does not want to talk about it it's not my right to know..but...i really want to help...

heh..talked to much about someone else..well..don't really know what else to write about....i'll just stop here for today..

it sad knowing that you can't help a fren that needs you....